


The Untitled JayTim Project

by Souliebird



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:16:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Souliebird/pseuds/Souliebird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason and Tim begin to bond after Jason rescues Tim from a psychopath, when no one else knew Tim needed rescuing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jason I

Jason thought the problem with Batman was that he never stopped to actually talk to civilians. There were some decent and legitimate prostitution rings in Gotham, well as decent and legitimate as they can get, and Jason had learned that the girls have good intel. People pretended they weren't human and would talk around them, and the girls were more than willing to share if it benefited them. 

That was how Jason learned there was a new creep in town; someone who was trying to get the Joker's attention. He had moved in within the last week and had ruthlessly taken over a block as his own, meaning the girls had lost prime working territory. But they were too scared to go back. They claimed something had been screaming almost non-stop for twelve hours the other night before the sound just cut off. And whatever it had been had not sounded human.

That intrigued Jason enough to go and check it out. If there was some new creep, Jason could show the who ran things around here and the girls could go back to working. Which would make them happy to give him more intel (And maybe some free services). If there wasn't some new creep, and something weird was just going on in the buildings, Jason could take care of it and the girls could go back working. It was a win-win situation for him. 

And the night was slow as it was, so it gave him something to do. 

~*~

Jason wondered what the appeal of working out of giant warehouses was. Sure, they were spacious and covered up noises pretty well, but there were so many spots where someone could sneak it unnoticed. Like Jason was doing now. 

He had already taken down the patrol outside, and now he was slipping in through a window. Better to be sneaky and learn what was going on, rather than guns blazing. At least this time.

He had let himself into some kind of supply closet. He cursed his luck and debated trying the next window over when he started and almost cursed out loud. A giant replica Bat-suit was standing in the corner, next to a replica Robin outfit and replica Nightwing costume. Jason inspected the costumes, surprised at how accurate they were. He could almost not see the tiny flaws in the dark. After he finished with whatever the hell was going down in this warehouse, he'd have to remember to take these. They could come in handy. 

After checking the coast was clear, Jason left the closet, having decided against going back out the window. It had started to drizzle and he didn't want to get wet just yet. He could hear muffled talking in the distance and he made his way towards that, crouched and keeping to the shadows. 

As he got closer to the voices, he encountered, one, two, three guards that he easily dropped. All of them were heavily armed, which peaked his interest more. What was worth so much fire power?

Jason made it to the right door and leaned against the frame, listening. 

“Is...is he supposed to be making that noise?”

“He's not supposed to be makin' any noise. That's why we...” 

Jason strained to hear the noise they were talking about. It was a faint wheezing, sounding like it was coming deep from someone's chest. 

“I think he's dying again. Do you think the things will fix him?”

“Paddles re-start your heart, you idiot. I think that's his lungs. We'll call the doc in. She can patch him up.” Then BANG! And Jason almost moved into action, but thought better of it. “That's a warnin'. I told you all, no hitting him in the chest with shit. He's a gift. We need him alive for that.”

That was enough for Jason's curiosity. He kicked the door in, guns out and ready to start firing. “A gift for me? You shou...ldn't have.” With the gun shots going off, he was sure no one heard the slight pause of shock in his sentence. 

First he had to deal with these thugs, then he'd deal with..

Jason didn't kill without reason, but in his mind, they all deserved to die. There were seven henchmen, plus the 'big baddie', easily identifiable by his stupid get-up. Jason believed the rumors this man was trying to get the attention of the Joker. He was dressed like a male- Harley Quinn and not nearly as pleasing on the eyes. 

“Hood!” 

“Hi.” Jason kept his guns trained on the not so tastefully dressed man in front of him. “Who the fuck are you supposed to be?”

The man cackled and made some elaborate moves with his arms. “I am The-” Bang!

“Actually, I decided I don't care.” Jason gave the nameless fool an extra kick for good measure, then turned his attention to what he really did not want to look at.

The only reason Jason knew it was Tim Drake was the remains of his Red Robin costume. He was strung up by chains from the wrists, making his feet barely scrap the ground. Where the costume was ripped, Jason couldn't see skin. It was covered with blood and muck and bruises. By some miracle, which Jason quickly learned was some string, Tim's domino mask had stayed on, despite the swelling around Tim's left eye. 

The only reason Jason knew Tim was still alive was that horrible wheezing noise coming from him. 

Jason kicked everyone of the bastards who did this in the face as he made his way to Tim. It didn't matter if they were already dead.

He had never really liked Tim. Tim was Jason' Replacement. Tim had taken Jason's titles twice now. Tim was an arrogant son of bitch. But, on some insane level that only the wards of Bruce Wayne could ever understand, Tim was family. And that meant only Jason could kill him. 

When Jason got to Tim he sucked air in through his teeth, which might have been more dramatic if he hadn't been wearing his helmet. Tim was way worse up close than far away. Jason could see the cuts and stabs where all the blood had come from and finally got what the hell those fucks had meant when they said Tim wasn't supposed to be making noise. They had cut his throat, enough to hurt, but not enough for Tim to bleed out. 

Jason found that was a pattern among Tim's wounds. Nothing was fatal, except if it got infected, which some of the deeper cuts looked. His fingers danced over Tim's body, checking all the damage before he released the boy. He didn't want to accidentally make things worse. Finally he deemed Tim not likely to die if he was let down. The only wound Jason couldn't account for was what was making Tim wheeze. 

Because Tim's arms were spread out, Jason couldn't hold him up when he undid the cuffs. He at least managed to grab Tim's right arm, so when the final cuff came off, Tim didn't fall onto the ground. Jason eased the younger boy to the ground and kneeled by him.

Jason had followed the leads, killed the bad guys, and made sure Tim wasn't dead. Now what? He supposed he could go drop Tim off on the GCPD station for Batman to find. But then the big bad Bats would think Jason did this and he sure as hell didn't want that. 

He could leave Tim here. But that would have defeated the purpose of saving him because Tim would surely die if left here.

Jason scanned the room out of habit and saw something that made up his mind for him. A crowbar was lying slightly behind where Tim had been strung up, and it had blood spattered all over it. 

“All right, Babybird, you are coming with me.” 

Tim's head jerked and it made Jason fall over. Even with the domino on, Jason could tell that Tim was now staring at him. The Red Robin's lips moved, but just a gurgling sound came out. Jason immediately realized what the wheezing had been. 

Tim had been laughing. 

Jason righted himself and scooped up Tim into his arms, princess style. His Replacement struggled a moment, then relaxed, resting his head against Jason's shoulder. Jason scoffed, but held Tim close, to make sure he didn't accidentally drop him. 

Jason had a safe house only a few minutes away, but it took three times as long to get there. Jason couldn't use rooftops and had to stick to walking in shadows, making sure no one was following or seeing them. Tim's breathing had been ragged when they left the warehouse, but had evened out into soft puffs by the time they reached the safe house. 

For the supplies he had, Jason thought he did a really good job patching up Tim. He'd have to go and get more wrap bandages and better material for a splint, and possibly some antibiotics, but Tim would survive for now. 

The little bird was more banged up than Jason had realized before. At non-vital points, Tim's skin had been flayed, burned, electrocuted, cut ,stabbed, beaten, and who knew what else. Amazingly, there were not many broken bones. Jason could feel a fractured jaw and some ribs, but besides Tim's leg, everything else seemed intact. 

Tim's right leg was his second worst wound, following his throat. Jason could feel the shattered bones under his fingers and set it the best he could. Tim would not be walking for a long while, let alone flying. 

The wounds hadn't bothered Jason. He was used to cleaning wounds. But the track marks on Tim's arms had made him wish he had kept the idiot in the Harley get up alive just so he could beat the shit out of him. 

Jason felt a little ridiculous as he wrang out the washcloth he had used to clean Tim. What the hell had he been thinking? He did not want to take care of Drake, but now he was stuck with him. At least until the kid was stable enough to move, and that would at least be a couple of days. Jason had been correct in thinking some of the stab wounds had become infected. Tim already had a fever and Jason had no idea what Tim had been injected with, and how long ago his last dose was.

And it wasn't like he could ask Tim. 

Even if the kid knew (and Jason didn't doubt that he knew), and even if he could actually talk (Jason doubted that part), he had been asleep since Jason brought him to the safe house. 

And how, exactly, had Red Robin gotten caught by a Joker rip-off?

That part annoyed Jason. When the little punk woke up, that would be the first thing to answer. 

~*~

Jason opted out of going back on patrol, even if there were a few good hours left of darkness. He, instead, cleaned his guns and watched midnight reruns of a show he used to enjoy as a kid on stolen cable. And tried to not think about the boy in the next room.

Not thinking proved to be hard. Little questions or facts would pop into his mind when he least expected it.

The girls said the screaming had happened days ago. 

How long had the Fool (Jason's name for him) had Tim?

Why had he not heard anything on the frequencies he wasn't supposed to be listening to about a missing bird?

Red Robin was meant to be a gift for some one. Was it the Joker?

Did they know who was behind the Red Robin domino?

Had he killed them all? Was there anyone left who knew the Fool had had Red Robin?

They said 'dying again.' Had Tim's heart stopped beating during his torture?

Jason kicked he table in front of him and got up. He needed to hit something.

~*~

Jason worked out in his little make shift gym until he absolutely exhausted himself. Then he slept on the couch. When he got up, he checked on his new responsibility, not surprised to find him still asleep or a little more feverish. 

Jason left some water and a note ( _Don't panic don't move, went to get supplies -Jason_ ), and left his safe house to get well, supplies. 

Warehouses were a few blocks away, but Jason had set up this safe house in a nice, dinky little neighborhood of working class folks. There was some drug use, and petty theft, but nothing too serious. It was mostly people trying to get by unnoticed. The safe house was the top floor, all rented by him using different aliases, of a decent little brownstone, right down the street from a market. 

Jason spent most of the day gathering supplies. He had to hit a few different places to get all the medical supplies he wanted because he was paranoid. Oracle had cameras every where and would surely notice a large purchase (or theft) of various first-aid needs for the vigilante crowd. 

Next he got Tim some clothes, because he really hated the idea of someone else wearing his boxers, and Tim was sure as hell going to be wearing boxers when around Jason.

Then a quick run through one of those 'everything' stores, grabbing blankets, toiletries, another first aid kit, and some quick and easy groceries. 

Tim was right where Jason left him when he got back. The boy most have really needed sleep badly, but Jason didn't judge. Well, only a little bit. 

By the time Jason had put everything away and had patched up Tim some more, it was dark, and Jason needed to patrol. 

Who knew, maybe he'd stumble upon another little bird in need of rescuing (and if it was a demon bird, he'd stroll on by.)

He left more water, even though the first had been untouched, some granola bars, and another note. _Don't panic, don't move, out on patrol. -Jason_

~*~

The night was rather uneventful. None of the big names showed themselves. Jason had kept a good ear on the chatter, but there was absolutely no mention of Red Robin. It made Jason furious in a way he hadn't expected. Did they even realize that the third Robin could have died if Jason hadn't been talking to prostitutes? 

Did they even care?

Jason threw off his helmet as he slipped in to his safe house. Plans were changing. He wasn't going to play nice and go drop off the little bird once he was stable. No, Jason was going to keep him and cause panic. If the panic came. They would have to realize he was missing, right?

It is what they deserved, what he deserved, for not watching over his so called 'son'. 

Jason checked on Tim, feeling oddly over protective this time around. The water was still untouched, though it looked like Time had moved a little bit. That was a good sign. Another round of antibiotics and a change of bandages, then Jason took his note and went to sleep on the couch.

~*~

Some of the water and one of the granola bars was gone when Jason checked on Tim again, but the Replacement was asleep, yet again. It made Jason oddly proud. He hadn't fucked this up. 

The day was spent reading, training, and watching the news. Something was happening in San Francisco, but the reports weren't exactly clear. They never were when the Titans were involved. 

When the night came, Jason left the same note he had before and some more water, granola, and now some pain pills. 

The chatter in the streets was insane. Even the thugs were talking about it.

Red Robin was MIA. He wasn't with the Titans. He wasn't with Batman. 

No one had seen him on patrol.

Did the Bat get another one of his Robins killed?

Jason sat on a gargoyle, and if he hadn't been wearing his helmet, he would not have been afraid to show his smug grin. He knew where the little bird nested. 

He managed to get a glimpse of some poor thugs encounter with Batman and Robin and they both were far more violent than usual. It put glee into Jason's soul. 

They both deserved to feel like this. 

The only damper in Jason's night is that he could not manage to find Nightwing. 

~*~

When Jason crawled back through his window near dawn, Tim was sitting up in bed. The younger boy looked at Jason expectantly, but Jason breezed past him to the bathroom, a shower sorely needed. When Jason came back, Tim was still awake, but no longer sitting up. 

“It took you a lot longer to wake up than I thought it would, Babybird.” 

Tim glared and waved his hands at Jason and it took him a minute to realize what the movements meant. Tim was speaking American Sign Language. Of course Tim knew ASL. He knew everything. 

“Okay, wait. Do that again. Slower.” Tim had to repeat himself twice before Jason figured out the signs. “How long were you asleep? Two days. Okay, seriously, you need to do that slower, I had like one class of this in high school.” And training from Bruce, because silent communication was needed at times, but Jason didn't mention that. Tim signed slower and Jason was able to piece together some things. 

“How did you get here? I saved your sorry ass from that fuckwad in tights, that is how, and you weren't exactly in the condition to haul around Gotham. My turn for questions. How the hell did you get caught by that fuckwad? Didn't you have better training than that?” 

Tim got an annoyed look in his eyes and he was signing way too fast for Jason to follow. “Okay, no, stop. We are not doing this. Wait a minute.” Jason went out into the living room. He turned off his wi-fi, grabbed his laptop, and brought it back into the bedroom. Tim was sitting up again. “Wi-fi is off and if you try any funny business, I will shoot you. Got it?” Tim gave a curt nod. Jason opened up some note-pad program and handed his laptop to Tim. 

Tim's fingers flew over the keyboard and this was much easier than trying to figure out signs. 

[He staged a break in on my patrol route. The store clerks were in on it. They shot me with high powered tranqs.]

Well, that explained it. It wasn't as pathetic as Jason thought it was. “Why you?” Tim shrugged. 

[I think they wanted to give me to the Joker. But they didn't look like Joker goons. And Joker is still in Arkham.] 

So Jason was right about that. “The little fuckwad was trying to impress the Joker, is what I gathered. Next question.” Tim rolled his eyes. “Why didn't anyone know you were missing?”

Tim stilled and for a half of a half of second, he looked pained, then it was gone, replaced by a mask of indifference. 

[What do you mean no one knew I was missing?]

“Exactly what it means. No one knew you were missing until tonight. By my calculations, almost six days. Maybe longer? I don't know, I don't keep up with your schedule.” Jason felt a small pang of guilt at seeing Tim hang his head. The truth stung badly. Jason could see it, even behind all those walls Tim built up. 

[Did you tell them where I am?]

“No.”

[Why not?]

“Because I don't fucking have to and I kind of like seeing them panic over it. Batman actually beat the shit out of some idiot tonight before hanging him off a lamppost.” Jason wasn't sure what he said, but something in that sentence sent a wave of fear over Tim. It was gone before it started, but it had been there. 

Tim went a different direction. [Damage assessment?] Jason rolled his eyes but complied, telling Tim about his various injuries. Tim seemed to accept all of them and Jason pointed out which medications Tim was taking and how often. 

Jason had more tact than to ask Tim what had happened to him. He could tell by looking at Tim what had happened. He had been tortured. For days. And Tim didn't feel the urge to tell Jason, so that was perfectly fine. 

Tim asked about his fever and infections, and asked for better food, before his head started to droop. Jason took back his laptop and pushed Tim back into bed and Tim didn't fight it. He was asleep before Jason left the room. 

Jason spent the rest of his time awake browsing comments on posts about Red Robin, marveling at the conspiracies people came up with.

Not one person thought that Red Robin was holed up with Red Hood somewhere. 

~*~

Jason thought this whole arrangement would be a lot more awkward than it had turned out to be. He and Tim lived together much better than expected. Jason got Tim a burn phone (with no minutes on it) so Tim could type out communication instead of having to sign or use Jason's laptop constantly. They talked about nothing really. How Tim was feeling (physically) or how Jason's patrol went. 

It had only been a few days, but Jason thought they would have torn each others throats out by now. Tim asked for very little. Some books to occupy himself and non-greasy food. Jason got him some books. 

The only thing they fought about was Tim kept trying to walk, and Jason got tired quick of hauling Tim back to bed. He also hated having to bring him to the bathroom. So they came up with a solution of Tim using Jason's desk chair as a wheel chair. Luckily the floors didn't have any carpet and Jason got a kick out of Tim scooting around or launching himself every where. 

Tim was still feverish and spent most of his time asleep. The times they were both awake were spent in front of the television, watching crappy reruns or game shows, before Jason went on patrol. The first night after Tim woke up, they had watched the news, but Jason learned quickly that it hadn't been a good idea. 

One mention of Batman had Tim pale as snow and shaking. He had tried to get up and leave the room without taking his wheely chair. He had only made it a few steps and Jason went after him, shouting. 

“Jesus, Tim, you have to use the stupid chair, I am not-” He grabbed Tim's arm to haul him up and Tim flipped. Tim turned on him, scratching, clawing, and kicking with his good leg. He was making a horrible noise, but it was so scratchy and raw and weak that it couldn't count as a scream or words. It was just horrible. Jason dropped Tim and stepped back, shocked.

Until that moment he had never even thought about Tim's psyche and what being tortured had done to him. Tim had seemed perfectly fine. 

Jason swallowed hard and kneeled next to the younger boy. Tim had stopped making that horrible noise, and stopped lashing out, but he still looked absolutely terrified. It made Jason realize how young Tim really was. He always forgot how young all the Robins were.

“Tim. Timothy. Hey.” Jason was surprised how soft his voice was. “I'm not going to hurt you, okay? Let's get you back up and into bed. Yeah?” Tim just stared, his blue eyes wider than Jason thought possible. The older boy tried to touch the younger's arm, but Tim flinched away. “I won't hurt you, Babybird.” 

And that did it. Tim relaxed and closed his eyes, taking a long shaky breath. Jason didn't wait. He pulled Tim up and dragged him back to the bedroom. He left before he got the nerve to ask what had happened. 

Jason realized after that that there was never any mention of Batman, Robin, or Nightwing, or their counterparts. He was curious, but he didn't want to send Tim into another freak out. He had expected Tim to be asking to go home now, or about his missing status, or something along those lines, but not a word. And Jason kind of liked that. 

~*~

Jason was a quick learner. He had to be. Once was chance, twice was coincidence, third time was a pattern. 

'Babybird' was Tim's calm down word. 

Tim was much smaller than Jason, but when he wanted to throw down, the boy could throw down. Jason came home from patrol to find Tim in the midst of a violent nightmare. He was thrashing around, kicking, and making that horrible noise from his throat again. 

Jason almost left. He could barely deal with his own problems, he couldn't deal with Tim's as well. But then he saw blood on the sheets. Tim must have ripped his stitches. 

Jason started shaking the young vigilante, trying to wake him up. “Tim! Tim!” If he hadn't been wearing his helmet, the punch Tim gave him would have hurt. That being said, it hurt Tim more than it hurt Jason, but it woke the younger up. But it didn't stop the noises, or the thrashing. Tim grabbed Jason's jacket and they started wrestling, Jason trying to hold back and just pin Tim, while Tim tried to seemingly rip off Jason's head. 

Jason was shouting and Tim was still screeching. Jason wasn't really aware what he was saying, but he knew it was meant to calm Tim down. He didn't know where 'Babybird' came from, but he said it and Tim stilled under him. Big blue eyes blinked up and pale lips mouthed 'Jay?'. 

He sat and removed his helmet, letting Tim know that, yes, it was him. He got off of Tim and pointed to where the blood had stained his sheets. “Sit up. Take off your shirt.” Then he went to get the first aid kit. 

When he came back he tried to ignore how pale and tiny Tim really was. He was, but he was just so tiny. Tiny and shaking and still recovering from that night terror. Jason didn't say anything, just patched up the ripped stitches and checked to make sure the others were okay. Tim just looked ashamed and didn't say anything.

He couldn't say anything, anyways, his phone was out in the living room. 

Jason went to take a shower after he was satisfied Tim wouldn't start bleeding again. When he stripped of his shirt he was surprised to see scratch marks on his neck and shoulders. The little bird was tiny, but even when injured, he was strong as hell. Jason wouldn't underestimate him again. 

~*~

Red Hood didn't realize he was avoiding the members of the Bat family until he was actively avoiding them; by running across rooftops with a blue flash behind him. It had been two weeks since Tim had gone missing, from when he had actually gone missing, not when people realized he was missing. So, in Nightwing time, Tim had been missing for almost a week. And Hood did not want to talk about it with the former Boy Wonder. 

“Hood! Wait!”

“No, thanks!” 

“Hood!” 

Then his ankle was hit with something and it threw off his jump. Hood fell onto a rooftop hard and by the time he was rolling back up and shaking the wingding out of his boot, Nightwing was in front of him. 

“Have you seen Red Robin?” Nightwing's voice sounded pained and Hood couldn't help but grin behind his helmet.

“Should I have?”

Nightwing whined and it was really annoying. “No one has seen him in a week!” Two weeks, Hood mentally corrected. “His last communication is two weeks old!” 

“So his last communication was two weeks ago, but no one has seen him in a week?” Nightwing nodded eagerly. “So he cut off communication for a week before disappearing?” Another eager nod. Hood rolled his eyes. He was trying to be helpful and maybe lead Nightwing down a path of enlightenment, and also more guilt. But Nightwing wasn't catching on quite yet. How was this man a detective? “Who saw him last?” 

“I...” Hood could tell by the muscle movements Nightwing had just blinked a lot. “I don't know.”

“You don't know who saw him last?” Nightwing was coming to the realization and Hood stepped back as Nightwing panicked.

“He's been missing for two weeks. Oh god. How could I have not noticed! Hood! Hood, where are you going?” Hood had turned and began to walk away.

“I haven't seen him and this is not my problem!”

“Of course it is your problem, he is your brother!” Hood turned mid step to glare, though behind his helmet, at Nightwing.

“I don't want to be a part of a family that can't even be bothered to notice when someone is missing!”

Then the blue and black streak was flying at him, all fists and anger. “What did you do to him, Hood!”

Hood blocked the shots and returned a few of his own. He didn't take well to being attacked. “I didn't do a damn thing to him!” 

“You were running!”

“You were chasing me!”

They repeated the questions and answers in different forms until Hood got fed up. He clicked a button hidden in the sleeve of his jacket and there was a BOOM! Three blocks over. Nightwing looked over and it was enough of a distraction to get away. 

~*~

Jason slipped into the bedroom window and was mildly surprised to see the bed was empty. He shed his clothes and gear and went to the bathroom for a shower. After a shower and a change of clothes, he went to find the little bird. 

Tim was curled up, as much as he could be, on the couch, reading. In one of Jason's hoodies. And with..

“How did you get hot chocolate?” Jason was inspecting the kitchen now because he was sure that he had never in his life bought hot chocolate. There were many things in the kitchen right now that he did not buy. 

There was a beep and Jason snatched Tim's phone from his hand.

[I bought it.]

“What do you mean 'You bought it?!'” Tim took back the phone, typed, then handed it back. “'I went to the store.' What the fuck, Tim?!” Tim snatched the phone back.

He had it for a minute before showing it to Jason.

[I can't live off greasy burgers. I can barely chew. I needed something healthy and you refused to provide it, so I went out and got it. I left the change on the counter.] 

Jason whipped his head around and saw the neatly stacked money. “How did you even get to the store? You can't even walk.” He was practically growling. “And where did you get the money? I know that Red Robin suits doesn't have any pockets.”

[ I found your emergency funds. Under the mattress is not original.] Jason did growl. [I made crutches.] Tim motioned to the front door, and sure enough, make shift crutches made from things Jason didn't even know he had in the apartment, were leaning against the wall. [I re-established your wi-fi, found the nearest market, and went. Don't worry. I kept my hood up and no one knew it was me. I even avoided the cameras.] 

Another growl and Jason plopped next to Tim. He snatched the cocoa out of the younger boy's hands and took a sip. Tim smirked. 

[Why are you home so early?] Jason glared at Tim, but he just kept smirking. 

“I had an unwanted encounter and decided to call it a night before I had even more, brooding encounters.” 

He saw the emotions change in Tim's controlled face and Tim took back his cocoa. 

[Nightwing?]

“Mhm.” 

[What did he want?] 

“To know if I had seen you.” There was an almost pleading look in Tim's eyes. “I didn't tell him.” Jason scoffed. “I'm not stupid. I told him I hadn't, he thought I was lying and did something to you, we fought, I kicked ass, and came back before Daddy Bats could show up.” 

That term didn't seem to set Tim off, but he looked extremely anxious. Jason reached out and squeezed the back of Tim's neck, carefully. 

“Look, Babybird.” Tim's muscles relaxed under Jason's fingers. “You and I both know you could have contacted them the second I left you alone. I got you a phone, even if it doesn't work, and I've left you with my laptop plenty of times. You already proved you can hack into it, to find a grocery store of all things, and can leave if you are determined enough. But you haven't contacted them. They haven't busted down my doors, dragging you back to the Manor. I get it. You, for whatever reason, aren't ready to go back. I'm cool with that, as long as you don't piss me off or steal my money again.”

Tim was typing again and Jason really did think it was going to be something important. Or at least relating to the conversation. 

[I got you peppermint hot chocolate with mini marshmallows.]

“Shit, really, those are already out?” Jason was scrambling over the back of the couch, hoping Tim had left enough water in the kettle (that Tim had purchased) for another cup. 

~*~

“Don't piss me off” somehow translated to “pull your weight” in Tim Drake's mind and Jason wasn't sure how. And “pull your weight” somehow meant clean the apartment and cook. It half amused Jason and half pissed him off. It was nice to live, even temporarily, somewhere clean, and even better to have a hot, healthy meal. But Jason could not figure out how Tim moved around the apartment without making any noise at all. 

Tim relied on his crutches more than the wheely chair and Jason missed the chair. It squeaked. 

Tim's fever was gone, but he still slept a lot. And he would have nightmares. And Jason wished he didn't care. He didn't even know why he cared. But when ever he came home to find Tim thrashing about, he'd sit on his bed, hold the back of Tim's neck, and use the word that calmed him down. Tim would wake up the moment Jason sat on the bed, but he just couldn't settle down right away. Sometimes, after Jason managed to calm Tim down, they'd stay like that for a bit, in silence, until Tim fell back asleep. Jason would adjust Tim so he was more comfortable, then go about his before bed routine. 

After dinner, but before Jason's patrol, they sat on the couch, watching some trivia game show that Jason was sure Tim would be shouting the answers to, if he could talk. It has been two weeks since Jason had brought Tim back, and most of his bruises were fading and his wounds healing. Jason knew Tim could make sounds now, that didn't sound like something out of hell. He made them when he slept. But Tim just kept using the phone to text and Jason didn't push it. 

The couch was small, but they were sitting a little too close. Jason's arms were draped over the back of the couch and Tim was almost curled into Jason's side. They were almost touching. But neither of them moved until Tim gently tugged on Jason's jacket. Jason peered down with his brows raised. Tim typed quickly, then held the phone up for Jason to read.

[I want to write letter to Alfred. Can you deliver it?] 

And Jason understood immediately. He hadn't even thought of Alfred. 

Bruce, and Dick, and Damian deserved the worry and panic over Tim. Alfred didn't. Alfred had been nothing but kind and loving to all of the batkids. Jason felt a twinge of guilt for having made Alfred worry. 

He nodded and Tim hobbled up. Jason steadied him by placing a supportive hand on the small of Tim's back until Tim wobbled off without a sound. Just another normal touch now. 

Jason could hear the scratching of the pen on paper and tried to not think about how he'd have to go back to the Manor. Maybe if he timed it well enough, everyone else would be gone. 

He tried to pay attention to the show, even got angry when the idiot missed a various obvious question, but he couldn't help but wonder what Tim was writing.

Before sunset, Tim was done and sticking a sealed unmarked envelope under Jason's nose.

[Don't read it.]

“I'm not twelve. But now I totally have to open it as soon as I leave.” Tim glared and Jason grinned. 

Jason put his helmet in his backpack and put a white t-shirt on over his armor. Now he looked like some punk instead of a bad-ass vigilante.

The bike ride was longer than it should take, because Jason kept back tracking and being extra paranoid. He watched the rooftops more than the road. They had been in his territory a lot the past few days and he did not want any surprise visits. 

When Jason finally arrived, he felt twitchy and nervous. What if they hadn't left yet? What if they went after him after he dropped off the letter? That he hadn't read. As curious as he was, he respected Alfred's privacy. 

It took ten minutes for him to finally knock on the door and it opened almost immediately. The wave of emotions was intense, but Jason kept it together. He hadn't seen the butler in so long and he hated to say he missed him .

“Master Jason. What a pleasant surprise, do come in.” Jason shook his head, already feeling guilty for denying the request. 

“Can't, Al. I'm just here playing delivery boy.” He dug into his jacket pocket and held out the letter.

“I will be sure to give it to Master Bruce.” Jason shook his head again.

“It's for you Alfred.” The butler looked surprised. “It's from Tim.” 

“Master Timothy?” Alfred took the letter and cradled it preciously. 

“Do me a favor, Al.” The older man looked up. “Give me a five minute head start before you tell him I was here.” Alfred gave a look of understanding and a nod.

Then Jason ran like a bat out of hell was chasing him, because in five minutes, there would be. 

~*~

It was a lot harder to avoid Batman than it was to avoid Nightwing. Red Hood knew this, but had to be reminded as the back wheels of his bike exploded. He had almost made it back home. He would have been crazy to go out patrolling tonight after going to the Manor. Even if his enterprises were taking hits because he hadn't been around as much. 

Hood abandoned the bike via grappling hook with a curse. That was the bike that could carry the most groceries. 

His line snapped with a twang and if Hood didn't know Batman's 'no kill' policy first hand, he'd swear the Bat was trying to kill him. He used the momentum from his swing to crash through a window and was thankful the room he found himself in was abandoned. There was a 'thunk' behind him, then Hood was on his chest with a knee in his back.

“Where is he!?” 

“Who?” Hood asked as innocently as he could. The response was a Batman slamming his helmet into the ground and asking the question again. “He's safe.”

“What did you do to him?!” 

“Okay, why does everyone think I'm the one who hurt him?” Hood realized his choice of words as the Bat slammed his head again. He had admitted Tim was hurt. “I saved his life, now get off of me.” The knife in his boot's heel was out and Hood kicked back. He hit air, but he had enough to to get up and face his once mentor. 

“Where is he?” The tone was softer now. Well..softer for Batman. 

“Okay. Did Alfred tell you what was in the letter or did you just hear our name's together and come after me?” Hood had no idea what the hell was in the letter, but he was praying Tim had mentioned not wanting to come home. Batman's posture relaxed out of fighting stance and Hood allowed his to relax as well. 

“That he is safe and not ready to come home.” Hood's chest actually swelled at that a bit. Tim felt safe with him. He knew that but...he had written it. 

“So why exactly, are you fucking attacking me?” 

“He needs to come home.” Hood barked a laugh.

“So he can be around people who didn't even realize he was missing until he should have been dead?” Hood's words turned to venom and he was enjoying this far too much. “He would have died if I hadn't shown up. He wouldn't have lasted another fucking night.” 

Batman's face scrunched and Hood knew it was meant to be intimidating, but God this was all to enjoyable. “What happened to him?” And then Hood did laugh because this was all too good. Either Tim hadn't told Alfred or Alfred hadn't told Bruce and...this was all just too perfect. 

The Robin that had died had saved the Robin who had been fired and Batman didn't even know what had happened. It really did show what Robins the Batman cared about. 

Hood knew his laughing was unnerving and he knew he could just walk out. So he did, and Batman didn't stop him. 

~*~

Tim was an anxious ball when Jason finally climbed through the window. One day he'd use the front door just to throw Tim off. 

Tim let out a whine and came to Jason motioning for Jason to take of his helmet. The older man noted that Tim didn't seem to realize he had made a noise while conscious. The helmet was tossed aside and Tim was leaning up and touching Jason's nose. He hadn't even realized it was bleeding. Tim looked extremely distressed and Jason felt guilty. 

And he hadn't even done anything!

Tim's phone was in his face before he even realized Tim had been typing.

[They went after you, didn't they? Because of the letter.]

“I don't think Alfred even got to read it to him before he took off. And no, I didn't read it so I don't know what it actually said.” Just that is said that Tim felt safe.

[He did this to you?] 

And Jason felt even more guilty because Tim went from distressed to terrified. He was shaking, and pale and...it made Jason angry. That Tim, for whatever reason, was terrified of Batman. He couldn't understand why at all. Batman was Tim's idol and now even mentioning him set Tim on the edge of a panic attack. 

“He smacked me around a little before I told him what is what and he left me alone.”

And then Tim was shaking so hard he could barely type.

[You told him?]

“No. Not that you...I told him I got to you before he even knew you were missing. That you could have died and he never would have known in time.” 

And then Tim was hugging him around his middle and nuzzling his chest like a kitten and it was weird. Jason took a moment to raise his arms and wrap them around Tim's tiny frame. 

“Why are you so afraid of him now?” 

Tim went still for a second, then clung to Jason. Jason wished he knew what was going on inside that head, but he knew that wish would be unfulfilled. 

They stayed like that for a long while, until Jason's legs began to ache and he was sure Tim's good leg was killing him. He had never been touchy or clingy before, and Jason had always hated Dick's hugs, but he could tell the difference between an annoying brother hug and a hug that was needed to stay grounded to the world. 

Tim let go first, then hobbled out of the room. Jason began to prepare for his shower, until Tim came back in with the first aide kit. Jason was about to get annoyed, but Tim looked determined. No words were exchanged, text or otherwise, as Jason sat on the end of his (Tim's) bed and let Tim tend to his wounds. 

~*~  
Jason took the time to realize exactly how traumatized Tim really was. Tim was good at hiding it, but once Jason knew he should probably be looking out for things like that, he noticed them. 

Like the fact Tim never left the apartment, except to go to the market down the street, and that had only been once. Tim made Jason a shopping list every few days, and Jason never even thought about it, because if Jason fetched the ingredients, Tim would cook for him. And Jason liked what Tim cooked. 

Tim avoided seeing violence. He wouldn't watch the news, and seemed to favor trivia shows or family style- violence free shows. Even the games he played on Jason's laptop where violence free. 

Tim wouldn't shower or knowingly sleep unless Jason was there. He'd flinch at loud noises. If Jason was late coming home from patrol, Tim would get anxious. 

And since the night Jason came home with a bloody nose, Tim had to check him over for wounds. Even if Jason hadn't been hurt that night. Jason had yelled that he didn't need to be coddled at Tim, the second night Tim came to him wanting to see if Jason was okay. One look from Tim, with his big blue eyes, had Jason sitting on his bed and allowing the younger boy to see he wasn't hurt. 

He didn't know how Tim could convince him to do things without even talking. Just the fearful look in Tim's eyes had Jason bending to his will. Jason told himself that this is how Tim was coping and not allowing Tim to cope would just make him worse. And making him worse meant Tim would stay longer. 

At least Tim wasn't having as many nightmares. Jason had kept a keen eye on that. He wasn't sleeping very well, but he wasn't thrashing around for half the night. 

The only thing that Jason thought was not getting better was the fact Tim still refused to speak and was avoiding anything relating to the other members of the Bat-family. Jason didn't understand either of those things. Avoiding the outside world and violence, and wanting to make sure he was okay, Jason sort of got. Tim had been kidnapped and tortured. Those were logical responses. Fear of talking and Batman weren't so logical. 

~*~

Jason could see the light from the screen behind his eyes lids. He didn't want to open his eyes just yet, but something bumped against his shoulder and Jason gave in. He cracked one eye open and read the text.

[I want to help you.] 

That got Jason to sit up. Tim practically crawled into his lap with how close he was sitting. “Help me with what?” 

[Your patrols. Whatever you do. I can help.] 

Jason eyed Tim and looked him over. He had lost weight and Jason guessed he would maybe tip the scale to 100 pounds. His leg was still in the make-shift cast. And Tim was wearing Jason's hoodie, again, which was at least three sizes too big on him. 

“You can't even walk on your own.” Won't even leave the apartment, Jason mentally added. “How can you help?” And then Tim smiled and it was the first real smile Jason had seen since he brought him here.

[Your computer. I can be your eyes and ears and track things. I can help.] 

“Like my own personal Oracle?” Jason mentally hit himself for saying the name. He expected the tensing and paling, but it never came. In fact, Tim's smile got wider and he nodded. Well, that was interesting. Oracle did not set anything off in Tim. 

“I have been working on a new system...” Tim was grinning now and Jason sighed. “Fine. If you can get into my network, you can help.”

[I'm already in. I've been in for days.] Jason glared and Tim kept grinning. 

~*~

The only reason Jason wasn't mad at Tim for hacking into his network was the fact Tim pointed out all the flaws in Jason's security. Jason was good at many things, but coding and computers were not at the top of the chart. Tim was simply amazing at both those things and Jason allowed to him be in his more nerdy element. 

Jason told Tim about the case he was working, a drug ring with a dirty cop that sold to kids. It would need some bulletproof evidence to get the cop locked up, and the guy was being a bit tricky. Jason didn't tell Tim about the other case he was working on. He wanted to make sure everyone who had been involved in hurting Tim was taken care of. 

“Hood!” Red Hood couldn't help but smile under his helmet as a gaggle of prostitutes came jogging up to him. The first one to reach him threw her arms around his shoulders in a hug. He didn't return the hug, but he pat her side. “Girls, this is the Red Hood! He's the guy that got our block back! Hood, these are some new girls. They'll tell you anything you need to know.”

And they did have good information to share. The dirty cop had a habit for a drug that his ring didn't supply. The girls didn't know who he got it from, but there weren't many suppliers in the area. One of the younger, but not too young, girls mentioned the dirty cop was a little too rough and Hood made a note of it. He wouldn't mind being a little too rough back. 

He thanked the girls, then started towards his next destination. 

[Really? Hookers?] The text rolled across his vision and it was still taking time to get used to this type of communication. 

“I wouldn't have found you if I didn't talk to them. Be grateful.” 

~*~

Stakeouts were boring. Jason was sitting on a roof ledge, his helmet sitting beside him. He couldn't smoke with it on. 

He was swinging his legs childishly when his phone began to vibrate. That made him raise his brows. No one should have this number to even be able to call him. 

“Hello?” 

“Jason.” Ah.

“Babs.” Of course she would be able to find his number, if she really wanted to. “What do I owe the pleasure?” He actually had a soft spot for the redhead, so he could kind of be civil. 

“I want to talk about Tim.” He should have guessed.

“Uh-huh.”

“How is he?” Jason rolled his eyes and he knew Barbara knew that. 

“Safe.”

“That isn't what I meant. I know he's safe. How is he?” 

Jason debated hanging up. He didn't really want to talk about Tim to anyone else. First off, it wasn't his place to do so, and secondly, he hated feeling gossipy. But then he remembered that Tim hadn't flinched when Oracle had been mentioned. 

“He's dealing with it.” 

“With what?” Jason groaned. 

“Not my place to tell. He'll talk when he wants to.” A statement that meant more than Babs would realize. “You usually hack into my frequencies when you want something. Calling is new.” He wouldn't bother asking how she got the number. 

“Tim kept me out of your helmet. Take good care of him.”

“I am.” 

“Good night, Jason.”

“Night, Babs.”

~*~

Jason stopped counting how long Tim had been staying with him. He only knew that they had been in the safe house too long and it was going to be time to change soon. He brought it up to Tim as he put groceries away and the younger boy just nodded. It looked like Tim had every intention of moving safe houses with him. 

He and Tim made a pretty good team. They brought down the dirty cop and all those involved with him, and had done a few more cases. Having Tim behind a computer was actually really useful. Jason just wondered when Tim would leave the safety of the computer.

He had at least started to work out again. He couldn't do much, with his leg still out of commission, but push ups and upper body training was what he focused on. Jason knew that Tim had to be fit to be Red Robin, but had forgotten how fit Tim was, since the boy had almost constantly been hidden under the giant hoodie that Jason had given up ever calling his own again. 

Jason was caught up in a laptop puzzle game and didn't notice the creaking of the floor stop as Tim finished his work out. He did notice when a phone dropped into his view and he messed up his game. “Ugh! Tim! You could just tap me on the shoulder or some shit! You fucked me up!” He slammed his laptop shut and read the message. 

[I want to watch the lunar eclipse tonight. It starts at 2.] 

“Okay? We have roof access.” 

[You can't see it from the roof.] Jason turned to look at Tim. He was covered in sweat, and his getting too long now black hair was stuck to his forehead. Tim was going to be lucky. Most of the cuts he had received were not turning into scars. Jason didn't know if the wound on his neck would scar. Tim kept it wrapped in a bandage still. 

“Okay, well, I can't change the trajectory of the moon. I'm not that good.” 

[We could go somewhere else to watch it.] Jason raised his brows. Not only was Tim willing to leave the apartment, but he assumed Jason would miss patrol to go with him. Jason hadn't been looking forward to patrolling with a lunar eclipse. The crazies came out even more. 

“Do you have someplace in mind?”

~*~

Jason never would have thought to go to the docks to watch the eclipse. Maybe that is why Tim was considered a genius. 

Jason wouldn't actually admit it to anyone, but he was having a good time. Tim could not walk to the docks, and his cast didn't really work well with Jason's bike, so it ended up with Jason giving Tim a glorified piggy back ride. Jason ran along rooftops, and jumped, and used his grappling hook, all while Tim clung to his back and grinned like an idiot. Jason could tell he missed flying, and to be honest, Jason kind of took it for granted. 

They ended up on the roof of a warehouse. Tim sat on the ground, with his legs outstretched, while Jason sat behind him, on a crate. Jason had noticed, as he dragged the crate over, that Tim had seemed really tense. While it was his idea to watch the eclipse, Tim was still anxious about being outside. Jason thought about it a moment. Tim had been tense on their own roof until Jason picked him up onto his back.

Tim felt safe with Jason. 

So Jason plopped the crate right behind Tim, sat, and threw his leg over Tim's shoulder. Tim tensed even more, then realized it was Jason's leg. He relaxed. Jason felt a faint brush against his pant leg and knew it was a silent 'thank you.' As awkward as he knew it looked, sitting with his knee resting on Tim's shoulder was pretty comfortable. 

Tim got out the snacks he had brought along, because of course he brought snacks, and the pair settled down to try and have a relaxing evening. 

But nothing ever went as planned. 

Jason snickered at Tim's newest question. “No, I don't think Superman ever goes to the Moon to watch a terrestrial eclipse. Only you would be nerdy enough to want to do that if you could survive in space.” 

Tim was typing up his next question when it happened. A whisper of a cape and the crunch of boots. 

“Jason?” Jason turned his head. Batman was standing at the other end of the rooftop. Tim had already stilled. The Bat stepped forward. “Tim?”

Tim turned to peek around Jason and Jason knew what their ex-mentor saw. Tim's hoodie did not hide his neck at all. The bandages were easily visible. 

“Tim!”

Tim was gripping onto Jason's leg hard enough to leave a bruise, and shaking as hard as Jason had ever seen him shake. He had lost all of his color. Jason kicked into action in such a graceful and elegant way, he would have put Dick to shame. 

Jason had Tim in his arms and off the rooftop in a matter of seconds. Tim didn't even start, just buried his head into Jason's jacket, trembling and making gasping noises. Jason refused to try to figure out whether or not Tim was crying. 

On a normal day, Jason was faster than Bruce, but now he was slowed by an added 100 pounds and had lost the ability to use one of his arms. He needed to hold Tim up somehow. He ran as hard and as smart as he could. No leaps he couldn't make without his hook. Nothing that would involve a hard roll to recover from. 

Tim was shaking and gasping in Jason's arms, but he couldn't comfort the boy. He needed to focus on getting them away from Batman. He knew where he could go, but he just had to get there. He could hear the running behind him, only one set of footsteps. Either Robin was not present, or was setting up an ambush. He hoped it was the former. 

For whatever reason, probably Tim's safety, Batman did not try to force Jason to stop running. 

Tim must have looked over Jason's shoulder, because he let out a horrible sob. He was crying. Jason tightened his grip on the boy in his arms. They were so close. 

“Tim.” Jason's voice was ragged. He was running too hard to talk. “Tim, do you trust me?” Tim wasn't responding. “Damn it. Babybird!” Tim did look up at Jason, with tear stained cheeks, and trying to breath, but he was looking at Jason now. “Babybird, do. You. Trust. Me?” Tim gave a tiny nod. “Hold on tight.” 

Jason used his shoulder to bust open an old door, then raced towards another room. The second it took to break down the door was a second closer Batman got. 

Jason adjusted his grip as he ran. He needed to do this perfectly or he could kill them both. He busted open another door, spun, wretched open another door, and went through. 

He could feel the heat on his back as they fell through the chute and into the cellar. The room above had been one of Jason's nests, and he had triggered the explosives around the room when he had opened the door that hid the escape chute. 

Jason stumbled as they landed, but kept a hold of Tim. No thud beside them meant Batman had not gotten to Jason's escape plan. 

It didn't mean he wouldn't find a way down here, so they needed to move fast. There was a hidden door in the cellar that lead to the sewers. That could take them back to the apartment. 

Jason was glad he had all these random explosives set up around the city. They were starting to become very handy.

~*~

Tim was still shaking as bad as before when Jason finally laid him down in the bed. Jason was able to remove his jacket before Tim was clinging to him again. He looked down at the mop of black hair buried into his chest. He couldn't understand why the sight of Batman did this to Tim. 

He slowly sat himself on the bed and tried to get comfortable as Tim curled on top of him. Jason gently gripped the back of Tim's neck. “Shh, Babybird. I got you. You're safe now. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you.” He kept repeating variations of that line as Tim sobbed into his chest well into the morning light.


	2. Tim I

He felt sore as he began to wake up. It was not a new feeling to Tim. He hadn't not been sore since...Tim shut his eyes tightly. He did not need those memories while he was awake. They haunted him enough when he slept. 

Instead he tried to focus on what was around him. He could feel sunlight on his leg. He was still wearing his sweats, but one leg must have gotten pushed up at some point. It was daytime. They had missed the eclipse. He forced himself to think of what was around him instead of why they had missed it. 

There was a gentle rise and fall under him, which caused Tim to open his eyes again. Jason was leaning against the headboard, sleeping in what looked to be a very uncomfortable position. Tim felt his cheeks heat up as he realized Jason's hand was still on the back of his neck. He had never let go of Tim. 

To be honest, Tim never could have pictured the two of them in this position six months ago. He would have scoffed at the idea of needing to be comforted like this at all. But now Tim accepted he needed it. He needed it so badly.

And he knew exactly why Jason was the only thing that could calm him down. It had nothing, and everything, to do with the fact Jason had been the one to find him. It had nothing, and everything, to do with the stupid nickname Jason had given him. The nickname he had hated so much was the light at the end of the tunnel Tim kept finding himself in. Dick ( _Nightwing. Blue and black and..._ ) had used the nickname before, but it wasn't the same. Tim knew he could not handle it right now if Dick ( _Nightwing, what are you doing.._ ) called him 'Babybird.'

A gentle squeeze to the back of his neck alerted him to the fact that Jason was awake now, and that Tim had been shaking. 

“Shhhh, Babybird. Go back to sleep.” 

Tim peered up at Jason. The man (boy?) looked exhausted. “It's probably like three in the afternoon, should get up.” Tim's voice sounded raspy, even to him. His throat hurt as he spoke, with good reason. Jason raised a brow as Tim talked, but didn't make a comment on the change. 

Tim could feel his phone in his pocket, but he needed to talk now. He needed...

“It's never stopped you before.” Tim wrinkled his nose. It was true. Tim swallowed dryness into his throat and pushed himself up into a sitting position. It was a bit awkward, given he couldn't really bend his right leg, and Jason's legs were on either side of him. He glanced to Jason as he adjusted himself, then quickly looked away. Jason was being so patient with him and he could not figure out why. At first, he knew, Jason had taken him in to spite Batman ( _I don't think I can walk, Batman, I..._ ) but they knew he was alive now, but Jason still took care of him. He took care of Tim so much better than Tim ever expected Jason was even capable of. 

He'd never underestimated Jason in combat, but he realized he had underestimated what kind of person Jason was. 

Jason was caring. Working and living with him had taught Tim that. Jason wasn't some mindless killing machine everyone made him out to be. He only killed those he felt deserved it, mostly those who hurt children. He took care of the working girls in ways Tim didn't fully understand. He took care of Tim. 

He deserved to know the truth, even if he had never asked for it. Jason had never pushed Tim to talk about what had happened ( _Pain. So much pain. But he could take the pain, couldn't he?_ )

Tim carefully turned and leaned his back against Jason's chest. He could not face the older boy (man) if he was going to talk. Jason seemed to accept this new arrangement and dropped his arm across Tim's chest. 

Tim needed to work up the nerve to start talking and Jason just waited. It made Tim a bit angry. This wasn't the Jason Todd he kind of knew and had heard about. Why had no one told him about this side of Jason? Why did Bruce ( _No, please, I'll be better_ ) only talk about Jason's flaws? 

That little bit of anger was enough to push Tim.

“They killed me.” He didn't feel Jason react, so maybe he already knew that? How much did he know? “I got...my heart stopped. My body couldn't take it.” He could feel the weight of shame on his words as he spoke. He hadn't been strong enough. “But the thing is,” He tried to not cringe as his voice went higher. “The thing is. I could. I could take the pain. I could take it.” His fists balled up in anger. “Everything they threw at me. All the hits and cuts and even when they put fire under my feet, I could take it.” His voice was cracking now. “Jason, I could take it. I could take all the pain, all the shit they did to my body.” God, was he crying again? “But they didn't just...I couldn't take the psychological torture. I couldn't.” 

He pressed the heels of his palms into he eyes and tried to suppress his sobs. He didn't want to cry. He didn't want to be weak. Not again. He'd been so weak..

The arm around Tim's chest tightened and brought him back down into reality. He was telling Jason everything. He needed to keep talking. Jason deserved to know the truth. 

“They gave me something. A hallucinogen. Not strong, but enough where I could hear things that weren't really there.” He shook his head. “It...wasn't bad at first. I knew it wasn't real.” 

Tim licked his lips and let his hands drop to his lap. 

“Batman killed me.” The arm tightened for half a second. “And..no..I know what you are thinking. I know he wasn't there to save me. But you don't understand, Jay.” He wanted to turn to look into Jason's eyes, to get the point across, but he was too scared. “Batman killed me.” 

The worst part was over. He had said it out loud. He reached up and gripped Jason's arm, because he needed to hold onto something. And Jason was safe.

“They had suits. I don't know how they got them, but they had a Batsuit...and a Nightwing suit..and Robin.” Jason had tensed behind him and swore softly. Like he understood something. “They'd let me escape. Get so far..then one of them..one of them would appear. And I thought...I thought I was safe.” His voice was cracking again. “I really thought it was them, Jay. I swear to God I thought it was them every time. They wouldn't say anything. But I could hear their voices in my head, anyways, so it didn't matter. We'd get so far, and then they'd turn on me. I don't know why I could never see it.” He hung his head again, but his hands were too busy digging into Jason's arm to go up to his eyes again. “They'd beat me until I was down, then drag me back to be hung up. I really thought it was them..” He was so weak. He was crying, again. Why was he so weak? Why hadn't he realized that they had never really come for him?“He was hitting me. He was over me and just...then he hit my chest and I felt it. My heart just..stopped. I wanted to ask him why, but they'd slit my throat already. He was the last thing I saw...then I died. Batman killed me.” 

Jason had both arms around Tim's frame now and was just squeezing him. If it had been any other time, it might have hurt, but Tim needed it so much. Jason was nodding against his back and Tim had no idea what it was supposed to mean. Did Jason understand? Did he understand why Tim could not stand the sight of Batman? 

He was convinced that the Bat had been there to drag him back to the torture. That all of this, everything with Jason, had been some cruel trick of Tim's mind, and that he was still really hanging in a warehouse, waiting to die again. 

Did Jason understand that?

“Fuck, Babybird.” 

Tim couldn't help but laugh and leaned back into Jason's hold, which tightened even more. “That's how I knew you were real. Sometimes, they would break me out...so I thought..I thought they had just changed it up and used you. But then you said that, and I knew..I knew it was really you. I knew I was going to be okay.” 

~*~

They didn't talk about what Tim had told Jason and Tim was fine with it. It was out there, now. Nothing else needed to be talked about. Jason knew the truth, he didn't need more. 

Tim was curled up on the couch, half listening to the rain and half listening to game show host rattle on about prizes. He lifted his head only slightly as Jason came out of the bedroom, his helmet clutched under his arms. 

“It's raining out.”

“Crime doesn't stop because it's a little wet.” Tim rolled his eyes, but pulled Jason's laptop towards him. “No need, Babybird. Just a patrol, no need for backup.” But Tim didn't believe Jason. Even when Jason had patrolled before, Tim had been there. There was something different about Jason. He was standing taller..shoulders back..he was angry. Tim didn't want that anger direct at him, so he just nodded and turned back to half watching the television. 

But even potential anger directed at him couldn't stop Tim's curiosity. He waited almost half an hour before putting on the headset and opening up the line. 

“Stupid, fucker, stop jumping everywhere.” Hood was muttering to himself. If he realized Tim was now listening, he didn't show it. 

There was the sound of crash, and then fighting. Tim forced himself to not talk, and just listen. He heard gruffs and groans of both parties involved in the fight and he knew both of them. He gripped the arm of the couch, trying to force himself to not shake. 

Why was Red Hood attacking Nightwing?

Then there was a crack and a sound Tim knew was the safety coming off one of the Hood's guns. “Don't move. Don't say anything. If you do, I'm going to fucking shoot you between the eyes. Just fucking listen. Got it? Good. You are going to stop hunting him. You are going to stop patrolling my areas looking for him. You are going to stop trying to contact him by getting Barbara to hack into my networks.” Tim's heart simultaneously swelled and sunk as he realized Hood was talking about him. “You are going to leave him the fuck alone. You fucking idiots can't take a fucking hint so I am painting it out for you in big red letters. Stay. Away. From. Tim. And if I catch even the hint of tights or a cape snooping around, I'll unleash all hell, and when I'm done, I'll take Tim and we'll go where you couldn't even hope to look. And he'd go fucking willingly. Do you understand, Dick? Good. Then pass on the message.” There was a sick crack that Tim was sure was the butt of the Hood's gun against Nightwing's skull. 

Tim let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. “Jason...” 

A thick silence. Tim had not muted his microphone.

“I meant it, Babybird.” 

“I know, Jason....and..you were right.” He'd go willingly with Jason, if Jason took him out of Gotham. 

“I know....patch me into the police scanner. I need to find someone else to punch.” 

“On it.”

~*~

Jason didn't come back until almost six in the morning. Tim tried to not be too anxious. They had been on the comm together until only an hour ago. Jason had taken off his helmet then and had never said what he was going to do. But he finally climbed in through the window, tracking in rain and mud. 

Tim was prepared, first aid in hand, because he knew Jason would need to be checked. Jason was soaking wet, but didn't seem to mind. That made Tim purse his lips. Tim was always cold. He'd have been a shivering mess if the positions were reversed. 

Jason started to peel off his armor and Tim got to work, wrapping things that needed to be wrapped and rubbing disinfectant into cuts. He had Jason sit on the bed so he could get to a cut on the man's leg. As Tim finished the bandage, he glanced up and smiled. Jason's eyes were closed, and his head kept dipping, then jerking back up. 

Tim gently pushed Jason back into a laying position, crawled onto the bed, and dragged Jason up so his legs were on the bed as well. Jason was a lot heavier than he looked and the movement had Tim slightly exhausted. He threw the blanket over Jason, then hobbled out into the living room.

Sleeping on the couch would be hard on him, but Jason needed the bed more than he did. 

~*~

They moved safe houses the next day. They packed in silence. There was so much silence since Jason had come back. When Jason left to go move the first batch of things to the new location, Tim was worried he might not come back. Tim paced around the apartment the best he could with his crutches and played with the end of his (Jason's) hoodie's sleeves. Jason did come back, but the next two trips he made had Tim feeling just as anxious. 

Tim knew the point of a good safe house what that it housed everything you would need. There had been so many trips back and forth because of the things that Tim had acquired. Was Jason resenting the fact he couldn't make a clean break from his apartment? 

It came time to finally move Tim and he could see why Jason had to make so many trips. Jason had been using a motorcycle to move, not anything logical. Like a car or van. 

Tim was not entirely sure how this was going to work. He could not bend his leg, so sitting on the bike would be awkward. He tried sitting behind Jason and lifting his leg to be out in front of him, but his foot kept knocking the handlebars. 

Jason didn't say anything, but his body language was starting to get impatient. Tim had to force himself not to shudder. Was Jason angry with him? 

He was a genius. He could figure this out. 

And he did. And it was so very awkward. 

The only way Tim could ride the bike was to sit in Jason's lap, facing him, with his leg sticking out behind Jason. He was sure it was illegal, but it was the only way.

He knew his face was bright red as he hid his face against Jason's shoulder. He was, for once in his life, thankful he was so tiny. He fit into Jason's lap without obscuring any of Jason's vision or making it too difficult to drive. 

~*~

Tim swallowed a gasp when Jason opened the door to the new safe house. They were near the docks, and the safe house was a loft above a butcher. The loft was one huge room, with one hallway leading to what Tim was sure was the bathroom. There was a huge window, which Tim knew instantly was made of bullet proof and reinforced glass, that looked out onto the harbor. The sun was setting now and it cast the loft into beautiful shades of pinks and purples. The colours after a storm. It just made Tim appreciate the loft even more. 

It was a simple lay out. A bed in one corner, kitchen in another, a work station, a floor mat with a trunk beside it that Tim knew held training supplies, and a small couch with a television. Each area was separated by stand-alone book cases, filled with books, and weapons, and artifacts Jason must have collected during his travels. Tim wanted to examine all of them. 

Jason ruined Tim's awe by pushing past him and heading down the hall. Tim ducked his head, trying to figure out what he had done so wrong, and made his way slowly to the couch. They had had to leave his crutches behind. 

~*~

As much as Tim loved the loft, he hated the silence. Jason had gone to patrol, leaving Tim alone, without so much as a word. The apartment had been in a neighborhood full of life. There had been cars, birds, laughter, there had been noise. 

Here there was the occasional car alarm. Tim had turned on the television just to have background noise, but all he had gotten was static. 

How could someplace so wonderful be so lonely? The loft reminded him of Jason and the comparison made him flush. 

Tim busied himself reading one of Jason's books, The History of Biological Warfare, while keeping an eye on Jason's network. The Hood had been silent all night. 

A thunk in the hallway when dawn broke alerted him that Jason was home. Tim just glanced to the hallway. So that is where the secret entrance was. 

Jason was already peeling off his armor by the time he made it into the main room. Tim stared pointedly at the book. If Jason was going to ignore him, he could ignore Jason right back. 

Until Jason bumped into one of the bookcases on his way stumbling to the bed. Tim was up and hurrying to Jason, despite the screaming in his leg. He almost fell into one of the bookcases himself as he reached the older man.

“Jason?” 

Jason was flushed and sweating and it took Tim not even two seconds to realize what was wrong. 

“You idiot! You idiot, you are sick! You shouldn't have gone patrolling! You idiot!” Tim was shouting and pushing Jason towards the bed. Jason tried to bat away Tim's hands.

“'m fine. I just need to sleep.” Tim kept pushing Jason and he snarled. “Leave me the fuck alone!” But Jason did collapse into the bed and hid himself not only under the blanket, but the pillow as well. Tim huffed and crossed his arms.

“You idiot.” 

~*~

Jason was right. All he needed was some sleep, but it did not stop Tim from worrying. When Jason finally did wake, Tim had managed to leave a glass of water, a cup of tea, toast, a bowl of soup, and damp towels on the bedside table. Tim had stopped himself from cutting up the small amount of fruit they had and leaving that as well. 

Tim instead focused on his own health. 

He had hated that he could not get around on his own. He dismantled his make shift cast and checked the damage. His knee would not require surgery. He mildly wondered that if it had, would Jason have gotten him the surgery? It was no use wondering. It was the past. He had to push past it and start trying to right himself again. Jason couldn't take care of him forever. 

Tim slowly bent his knee, until his foot was on the ground. Searing pain was shooting through with leg, but he bit his lip and dealt with it. He could deal with pain. He lifted his leg back up, and repeated the motion three more times. Each time the pain was there. He left his foot on the ground and went through his medical knowledge. Six to eight weeks for a patella fracture to heal, if it didn't require surgery. How long had it been? 

He couldn't remember anymore, but he didn't think it had been that long. 

“You shouldn't be bending it.” 

Tim almost jumped, but controlled himself. He hadn't heard Jason get up. He was losing his touch.

“You shouldn't be out of bed.”

“I'm fine.”

“So am I.” Both of their voices were cool. Indifferent. Jason made some sort of dismissive noise and walked off towards the hallway. Tim refused to turn and look at him. Instead, he forced himself into a standing position. His leg screamed at him in protest.

But Tim could handle the pain. 

~*~

Tim put all of his weight on his left leg as he made his way to the kitchen. He could feel Jason's eyes on him as he moved. Jason was waiting for Tim to stumble, again, so he could tell him off for refusing to use the new crutches Jason had gotten him. 

But Tim wasn't weak. He could walk fine on his own, thank you very much. He just couldn't go very fast. 

When he got to the counter, Tim gripped it so tightly his knuckles went white. The pain would pass, Tim told himself. Tim opened the cupboard after a few long moments had passed and glared up at what he saw. 

The glasses were on the top shelf. 

Jason was fucking with him. 

Tim steeled his face and put his hand flat against the counter, putting his weight on it as he pushed himself up with his left leg. He angled his right leg out, so it was off the floor, and continued to push up until his arm was straight and both legs were off the ground. He slowly moved his left leg out, so that his weight was more evenly balanced. He ignored how his arm was beginning to shake under his weight, and reached up with his free arm to grab a glass. He lowered it down to the counter, then began to straighten his legs back out.

Then his arm gave and Tim crashed to the floor, yelping as he went. The yelp turned into a pained scream when his knee hit the floor. 

Tim curled in on himself, shaking and on the edge of sobbing. White hot pain was going through his entire right side. It wasn't just the pain that was causing him to slowly go over the edge. It was anger. Anger at himself for being so weak. Anger at his body for betraying him. That move was so easy. He'd done it a hundred times before, but now he was so weak he couldn't balance himself on one arm. Anger towards Jason for putting the stupid glasses on the top shelf when he knew Tim could not reach them. 

He heard the footsteps coming towards him, but Tim kept his eyes shut tight. The floorboards creaked as Jason changed his center of gravity and knelt down. 

“You could have just asked for help.” 

“Get away from me, Jason!” Tim lashed out, kicking his good leg out in a sweep to where he knew Jason was. The man caught his leg, and in one rough movement, pushed Tim's leg back, so that the curled up boy spun a little.

“Fine. Be a little bitch about it.” Tim heard Jason get up, and his footsteps got farther away, until a door opened, and closed. Jason had left the loft. 

Tim allowed his emotions to get the best of him and let out an angry sob. 

~*~

Tim had been so angry at waking up to an empty loft. He almost tore it apart, but the rational part of his brain told him that the books and artifacts didn't deserve that. So he trained. The trunk by the floor mat had a punching bag, and Tim set it up and took all of his anger out on it. He kept hitting it until he literally exhausted himself, then he collapsed onto the mat and slept. 

When he woke up he felt so ashamed of himself. He had let his anger control him. Tim had always prided himself on being sensible, but he had lost it on not being able to reach a glass.

He knew he should not have been so angry at Jason. He was still upset that Jason had been ignoring him, but now he realized that Jason had not been feeling well. It hadn't been intentional and Tim had reacted like a spoiled child. Jason had been nothing but kind and Tim threw it back in his face. 

Maybe Tim should leave, so Jason wouldn't have to put up with him anymore. But he didn't know where to go.

He wasn't ready to go back to the Manor. Not yet. He wasn't ready to face them yet. He still had nightmares and believed that if he saw them face to face, he wouldn't be able to control himself. 

And he was too ashamed to see them. Too ashamed of still being frightened. Ashamed of being so weak. His behavior wasn't fitting for a former Robin. 

The mere idea of Bruce giving him a disappointed look frightened him more than the thought of Batman did. 

Tim forced himself into standing and didn't ignore the presence of tears as his knee protested the weight put onto it. 

He had to be realistic. He had to get control back in his life.

Tim limped to where Jason had left the new crutches, then to the bathroom. A shower was going to be the first thing needed to put himself on a better path. 

~*~

Jason had severed the network connection to the loft, so Tim could not check to see where Jason was. He took it as a sign and did not try to reestablish it. 

Despite his best efforts, Tim could feel himself spiraling downwards. 

He had run out of food on the second day alone. He had easily found money and quick look out the windows revealed a liquor store at the end the street horizon. Tim readied himself for his small journey. The hoodie felt so heavy with guilt, that he finally donned something else. He hadn't even realized he had been constantly wearing it. 

Tim made his was to the front door. But he couldn't get past it. He stood there, leaning on the crutches, just staring at the door. He could feel the blood pounding in his ears. 

He kept telling himself he had to be on control. Going outside wouldn't kill him. Again. 

The best he could do was open the door. He felt a lump in his throat and he couldn't stop sweating. Images and sounds he knew weren't real were flashing around him. He slammed the door shut and hurried to the bed and collapsed into it.

The sheets smelled like Jason. 

Tim quickly wrapped himself up in the blanket, burying his nose into it and inhaling. He tried to imagine Jason's voice over all the other imagined sounds. 

_I got you, Babybird. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you._

Tim sobbed. 

~*~

Tim was back in the hoodie. He was sitting on the couch and staring blankly out the huge window, wrapped up in the blanket from the bed. It was losing Jason's scent. Every now and again, his stomach would growl but he paid it no mind. He had gone without food for longer. 

The sun had set and risen in the time that Tim had been sitting. The eery silence was beginning to get to him. Jason's laptop didn't have any music downloaded onto it, and without an internet connection, the only thing it was useful for was playing solitaire. 

Tim hated solitaire. 

He hadn't been in so much silence, and so lost, since the warehouse. His mind was starting to play cruel tricks on him, but Tim was finding it hard to care. He could hear whispers around him, but was unable to make any of it out, and he didn't try to. He knew it was in his head. Just like before.

Sometimes there was movement in the corners of his vision and Tim would flinch. It felt like something was swinging down to hit him, but nothing ever connected. 

The sun was setting again when there was something coming towards him from his left side. He flinched as it got closer, then screamed as it touched him. They weren't supposed to be able to touch him.

Tim scrambled away, unable to stop screaming. 

There was something wrapped around Tim's frame, holding him close. His face was pressed into something cool and rough. It smelled like smoke, leather, gun powder, and sweat. It smelled like Jason. Tim clung to it and buried his face into his smell, inhaling deeply. 

“Shit, I'm sorry, Babybird. I'm sorry. I'm back, now.” 

~*~

“I think I need help, Jay.” 

A confession muttered into brown leather. Tim wasn't sure if he said it out loud or not. He could still hear the whispers around him and one of them had his voice. 

“Okay.”

Tim clung to Jason until darkness began to creep in on his vision and it was hard to keep his eyes open. Tim felt Jason lift him up and he curled into Jason's warmth. Jason was always so warm. It was a nice contrast to Tim's freezing skin. He squirmed a little as Jason deposited him into the bed, and when Jason tried to pull away, Tim held on tight.

“No.” His voice was so shaky. He didn't want to be alone. 

Jason tensed under Tim's grip and the younger quickly let go. He was terrified Jason might become angry and leave again. Tim tried his hardest to not stare up at Jason. 

The man under the Red Hood looked as exhausted as Tim felt. There were dark circles under Jason's eyes and he had a cut on his lip. 

“Let me take a shower.” Tim gave a tiny nod and waited as patiently as he could for Jason to return. He could hear the water running and that brought him comfort. He didn't realize that Jason had left his jacket on the bed, or that he was clinging to it, until Jason was back and gently prying it from Tim's hands. Tim had a hard time remembering that at one point in time, those hands had beaten him senseless. All he knew now was Jason's tender touch. 

Jason was lying beside him now and Tim couldn't help but curl himself into Jason's side. He felt Jason stiffen slightly, before relaxing again, but Tim was not even aware that this position might be somewhat awkward. All he knew was that he needed this. He needed to be close to Jason. He needed to feel safe. 

A hesitant hand touched the small of Tim's back, and Tim took it as an invitation to curl more into the body under him. 

“Go to sleep, Babybird.” And he did.

~*~

A soft, but firm, touch on his right leg woke Tim up. He opened his eyes blearily and saw Jason sitting beside him, refitting Tim's makeshift cast to his leg. Tim felt guilt pool in his stomach.

“You made it worse by walking on it.” It wasn't an accusation. It was a fact. 

“I'm sorry.” He really was. 

“Don't apologize. Just don't do it again. Let it heal.” Jason got off the bed and started walking to the door. Tim started to panic.

“Jason!” He turned, eyes slightly narrowed in curiosity, then widened in realization. 

“You need food. You haven't eaten in like two days. I'll be back in a little bit.” 

Tim worried his lip, but he trusted Jason, and gave a nod. Jason grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

Then it dawned on Tim.

How had Jason known he hadn't eaten in two days?

~*~

Jason returned with grilled cheeses and fries and Tim was a big enough man to admit he was excited by the childish food. They ate on the couch and Jason turned on the television to reveal that they now had cable. 

Tim slathered a fry in ketchup as he got lost in thought. He had meant what he had said. He needed help. He knew Jason meant well, but Tim needed someone else to talk to. The thing was, Tim didn't trust that many people. 

Tim thought of contacting the Titans, but that quickly developed into guilt. He hadn't thought about them at all until then. They were probably angry at him for not contacting them and he could not go to them with his problems, expecting them to forgive him. 

Dick was the next on his list that was quickly crossed out. He couldn't even think of his older brother without a shiver. Too many memories assaulted him at the thought. (Not) Nightwing flying at him from the darkness, fists ready. The sound of the butt of a gun striking a skull. No. Dick was not an option. 

Barbara couldn't be contacted without revealing the location of the safe house. 

Bruce was...

Jason squeezed Tim's hand. When had Jason taken his hand? 

Tim took a shaky breath and went back to his train of thought.

Bruce was not an option either. 

Then Tim realized it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I want to talk to Alfred.” 

~*~

It started with letters back and forth. They took every precaution possible in setting up the correspondences. Jason would drop off the letters from Tim at random mail boxes around Gotham, with instructions on how to respond tucked away inside the envelope. Tim even addressed the envelopes in different handwriting each time. 

Tim had tried to talk just through letters, but his hands would end up shaking so much that he couldn't even read his own writing. 

Phone calls were not possible, because they could be traced. 

He would have to talk to Alfred in person and that became problematic. First of all, Tim still could not force himself to leave the apartment and secondly, he and Alfred did not see eye to eye on where to meet. Tim wanted to meet in the city, not hinting he started panicking at even the thought of it. Alfred wanted Tim to come to the Manor. Neither party would budge. 

“I'm not going there.” Tim told Jason out of the blue. “I'm not going to the Manor.” 

“I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to go either.” Tim glanced at Jason. He had been acting oddly since he came back. He was still caring and comforting, but he seemed oddly reserved now. Tim felt he wasn't being as open or brash. He wasn't acting like Jason.

But he was there, and that was the most important thing. 

~*~

Tim yielded to Alfred after he woke up to a particularly horrible nightmare and ended up giving Jason a black eye. He couldn't look at him without wanting to throw up from guilt. 

It took a few more letters to arrange. Tim was to come to the Manor on a Wednesday morning. From what Tim could remember about the schedules of his family, that meant Alfred would be home alone. Tim spent time researching bus routes on the laptop as Jason worked on the main computer. Another pop of guilt. Jason had not gone patrolling since he had come back. 

It would take Tim almost two hours to get from here to the Manor, and would involve two bus rides and a cab. 

If he could get outside. 

He still needed to conquer that. Tim worried his lip, then set aside the laptop in determination. He couldn't get help if he couldn't see Alfred. And to see Alfred, he needed to go outside. 

Tim gripped his crutches and slowly limped his way to the door. Don't think. Just do it. That was the mantra Tim kept repeating in his head. As he got closer to the door it turned into a hurried Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. He gripped the door handle, his hands shaking. Doitdon'tthink.

“Tim?” 

Jason's voice washed courage through him and he pushed the door forward, limping through quickly. The cold air of the hall hit him like a truck and Tim clenched his eyes shut. He wasn't wearing shoes. It didn't matter. He was out of the loft. He had made it. 

He hobbled toward the stairwell. One set leading down, and another leading up. He ventured for the ones leading up, because he did not know how long the butcher stayed open. Or if the shop was even open to begin with. 

The air on the roof was colder than the air in the hallway. Tim was shaking, but he was proud to say it was just from the cold. His hands were gripping his crutches so tightly he knew his knuckles must have been white, though. 

He looked around and tried to enjoy being outside. It was so much louder than in the loft. Jason must have sound proofed it. Out here, Tim could hear the waves in the harbor and gulls. He could smell the salt in the air and taste the smog. He closed his eyes and relished. Why had he been denying himself this? 

When Tim opened his eyes his heart sank and he knew why. There was a figure a few roofs over and Tim could feel it on the back of his neck. The figure was watching him. His hands began to quake so hard he lost the grip on one of his crutches and it fell over beside him with a 'clank'. The gentle 'whoosh' of the waves were deafening and the smog was smothering him. 

He couldn't breath.

He...

“Tim?” 

Tim whipped around, stumbling as he did so. Strong hands caught and steadied him. 

“Are you alright, Babybird?” 

Tim looked back to the other rooftop. The figure was gone. He could feel Jason following his gaze.

“Tim?” Jason's tone was harder. Tim shook his head. 

“I got overwhelmed. I'm okay...” 

As he gathered his fallen crutch, he could have sworn he saw the flutter of a cape in the distance. 

~*~

Tim tried his best to look presentable for Alfred. His hair was longer than it had been in a while and he tried to slick it back so it wasn't in his eyes. He took the time, effort, and pain to put on a pair of slacks instead of his normal sweatpants. 

He kept the hoodie though. He needed it. 

Tim came out of the bathroom, expecting Jason to still be asleep. But he was wrong and Jason was waiting by the door, holding two helmets (but neither of them was the helmet.) 

“You don't have to go.” Jason gave him a deadpanned look. 

“Yes, I do.” 

Tim's cast was a little more flexible than before and he was able to sit behind Jason. Jason had accepted that Tim was going to bend his leg. As long as he didn't walk on it. 

Jason drove them around Gotham before heading to the Manor and Tim knew it was for his benefit. He was still tense, but he was with Jason and they were going to see Alfred. It would be okay. It had to be okay.

Tim had never realized how much he had missed the Manor until he was back. There was a sadness in his chest. This had once been his home....

Wasn't it still his home?

Tim didn't know. The question was too big for him. 

He hobbled toward the front door, trailing slightly behind Jason. It was harder to use the crutches in the gravel than on hard wood floors. He would need to practice on the roof.

Jason was knocking on the door by the time Tim reached it. He was surprised at how long it took them to open.

“Master Jason...Master Timothy.” Tim couldn't identify the emotions in Alfred's voice. It made him want to hug the much older man. But Tim was too fidgety. He just gave a meek smile.

“Hi, Alfred.” 

Alfred stepped back and opened the doors wide. Tim followed Jason into the house and closed his eyes. He had forgotten how the Manor smelled. Like polished wood and lemons. Never musty. It felt....good. Safe...

“Tim!” Tim's eyes flashed open and he went still as a board. 

There was a blur flying at him. A blue blur. A blue and black blur was flying at him with arms out stretched. He couldn't get back fast enough. It was going to hit him. It was going to..

Brown appeared between him and the blue and black blur and he heard a crunch, then a thud. 

Jason was standing in front of Tim, his arm slightly outstretched. Dick was sprawled on the ground in front of Jason, clutching his nose. Dick let out a howl.

“What the hell, Jason?!” 

“Don't. Fucking. Touch. Him.” Jason growled. It was the first real emotion Tim had seen from Jason in days. Jason turned to look at Tim and Tim expected to see the anger he had heard in Jason's voice. But Jason's eyes were soft. Concerned. “Babybird?” His voice was equally soft and concerned, now. 

Tim realized he had at some point dropped his crutches and had backed himself against the door. He could barely stand with how much his legs were shaking and he had been holding his breath. He took a deep breath and looked around the room. 

They were all there.

Dick was still sprawled on the floor, staring at him with too many emotions for Tim to process. ( _Nightwing, what are you doing.._ )

Damian was standing by the stairs, arms crossed and glaring. ( _Robin! Robin, wait!_ )

And Bruce...( _I'll be better..I promise..please_ )

Jason was gripping his jaw and forcing Tim to look at him. “Hey. Hey..look at me, Tim. Babybird, look at me.” Tim was trying. Didn't Jason know that? Tim was trying to keep his eyes on Jason's. “We can go if you want to.”

“No!” Tim was pretty sure that had been Dick, but he was trying to just focus on Jason's voice. Jason spun around and Tim stumbled forward. He gripped the back of Jason's jacket and buried his head between the man's shoulders. He could feel how tense Jason was.

“You bunch of fucking idiots are sending him into a panic attack!” Jason's back shook as he yelled, but Tim held on tight. He heard someone yell 'language!' at Jason. It might have been Alfred. “No, fuck that! He came to see Alfred! You,” Tim felt Jason's arm move. Was he pointing? “Said that this would be private!”

“Don't yell at Alfred, Jason. He didn't know we'd be here.” That voice had been haunting Tim's dreams. He felt himself whimper. He felt so weak. He was so ashamed. He just wanted to curl into nothingness and disappear. 

“So why did you feel the need to ambush him!? If he wanted to fucking see you, he would have written to you!” 

“We needed to make sure he was alright.” 

“Does he look alright to you!?”

“Jason, we want to help!” That was Dick's voice. 

“Drake is in obvious need of some sort of psychiatric help.” Damian. 

“Jason, you can't keep him locked up.” 

They were all yelling at once. There was only one voice he didn't hear. The one voice he needed to hear.

“QUIET!” Tim was surprised at how loud his own voice was. All the yelling stopped and he could feel all eyes on him. He shakily pushed himself away from Jason's back. “I want...I...I need to talk to Alfred. Alone.” His voice cracked far too many times in that sentence. 

“Are you sure, Babybird?” Jason had turned and was cupping Tim's cheek. Tim leaned into the touch and gave a small nod. 

“I...need help.” It was barely a whisper. Jason nodded and steadied Tim. His crutches appeared in his sight and Tim gave a weak, but thankful smiled to Alfred. Tim limped as quickly as possible after him as Alfred lead them to the kitchen. He could hear the yelling starting up between Dick, Damian, and Jason, but forced himself to not listen to the words. 

“I am sorry, Master Timothy.” Tim focused on the British accent ahead. “I sincerely tried to mislead them about when you would be coming.” 

“It's okay, Alfred...” Tim knew Alfred had been unable to keep the letters from his family. He should have expected this. 

They went to the breakfast nook and Tim allowed himself to relax, even for a moment. This was as safe as Jason's bed. He had spent countless hours here, talking with Alfred. Out of the Robins, Tim was sure he was the closet to the man. He had helped Alfred clean and cook, and the pair could work as silently and seamlessly as Batman and Robin. 

Tim eased himself into sitting and couldn't help but smile as a tea pot and mug appeared before him. Tim wrapped his hands around the mug and sighed as the warmth traveled up his hands. 

“You always had a problem remembering to eat, Master Timothy.” Tim opened his eyes and took in the sight of Alfred. Old, soulful eyes full of love and well meaning. He could tell Alfred anything and the man would take it to his grave. He also didn't beat around the bush, but could be gentle and say exactly what was needed. 

“I'm trying...” And then he launched into everything. The trap, the physical and mental torture, Jason rescuing him, and what had happened since then. Alfred didn't stop him once. Tim knew if he paused he'd break down. He could tell at some points he had begun to cry and he lost count of how many times his voice broke. 

“And...and I'm tired of being weak. I've been so weak and so lost...I...Alfred, I don't know what to do anymore.” He finally allowed himself to look up. 

Alfred looked somber. He slowly reached out and put his hand on Tim's arm. “Master Timothy, you are not weak. You are one of the strongest, if not the strongest, man I have had the great pleasure in knowing. Most men, if they had gone through what have had to go through, would have crumbled. They would have given into the anger and fear and would have let it consume them. You have not. You have taken it head on and are going to raise like a phoenix from its ashes. Realizing you can not confront your demons on your own is not cowardice. Admitting you need help is one of the bravest things you can do. Master Timothy, at this moment, you are the strongest man in this household.” 

Tim laid his head down against the coolness of the tables and allowed his walls to come down. He had cried many times over the past few weeks and it had all been in pity or fear. 

Now, Tim finally cried over what had happened to him. 

~*~

Tim felt drained and exhausted, but it was a pleasant feeling. He had finally let everything out. Maybe..he could start getting better now. That was his hope. That is why he had come to Alfred. 

Tim's eyes were half closed and he was breathing evenly, but he wasn't asleep. No, he was enjoying this emptiness inside of him. A plate of cookies and a steaming mug came into his vision and Tim smiled to himself. He pulled himself up into sitting, watching as Alfred slid into the seat across from him. 

He took in the room around him as he pulled the mug close. Sun light was coming in through the windows, making the nook feel homely, and birds were chirping outside. The shouting had stopped. Tim wondered if every one had dispersed to go hide in different parts of the Manor. Tim knew, with a tug in his heart, that Jason was still here. Jason wouldn't leave him. 

“It was heavily implied that if they did not stop their arguing they would all be asked to leave and the Manor would be put into lock down until they resolved their issues. Master Jason is, the last I checked, in his bedroom.” Tim smiled more. He had no doubt that Alfred could have ordered them all to leave, with a hundred percent compliance. “Has he been taking good care of you?” 

Tim boggled at the question. Tim was alive and is relatively good physical health. He was being fed, clothed, and all the damage that had been done to Tim since his rescue had been Tim's fault.

But that wasn't what Alfred was asking. Tim gave a small nod. “They always talk about his flaws and about the Hood's actions...” 

Alfred was smiling now. “Master Jason has always had a good heart, despite what some of his actions have said.”

“He's been acting...I don't know. Weird.” Tim had to remind himself that everything was out in the open with Alfred. This wasn't gossip. It was...relevant. “It's like he's been replaced with some emotionless clone.” Which, in their life, was completely possible. 

“I'd say he has plenty of emotions, Master Timothy. Especially when they are concerning you.” Tim felt his cheeks go red and his heart began to pound. But not like it did when he was having what he know knew where panic attacks. No, this was different. The pounding was good..it sent vibrations to his stomach and made him feel light. 

He didn't want to talk about Jason anymore. 

Tim cleared his throat and changed the subject. The pounding in his heart changed to dread. “I don't think I can face them, yet.” Alfred was still smiling and it was a bit unnerving. “And I feel really guilty over it. I know...I know they don't know. But it is sort of like, I assumed they knew?” He was beginning to ramble because he did not want to think of Jason. “But they have no idea at all, do they? They have no idea why I can't look at them and it's hurting them. I want to tell them..but I'm not ready. And the more I wait the more I am hurting them.” 

“Master Timothy, please listen to me very carefully.” Tim canted his head to one side, because he always listened to Alfred carefully. “Do not worry about hurting them.” Tim opened his mouth to protest, but Alfred shushed him. “No, listen. When the time comes for you to tell them what happened, they will understand and will forget the hurt they feel now. But if you were to confront them when you are not ready to, you will end up hurting yourself. How do you think they would feel if they knew that you hurt yourself for their benefit?” 

Tim ducked his head, feeling like a child being lectured. “...They wouldn't be happy.” 

“Exactly. Take care of yourself. Allow yourself to be selfish for once, Master Timothy.” Tim blushed.

“But...”

“I will set some guidelines with them, without revealing anything you are not ready for. I am sure my approach will go over much better than Master Jason's.” 

Tim felt a little pang of guilt. Jason had been trying to protect him. “Thank you, Alfred.” 

They discussed what Tim was and was not ready for. Tim would be willing to come to the Manor if the others kept their distance. He would approach them when he was ready. If he was prepared, he could handle seeing them, and maybe some light discussion, but no touching. Tim was sure Dick would not like that. Tim would be open to written correspondences if they did not attempt to track his location. Alfred would be allowed to tell the family that Tim had, as Alfred put it, suffered extreme physical and mental trauma and that Tim would eventually tell them everything. He just needed time. 

“And what of Master Jason?” Tim blinked in confusion.

“What about him?”

“They will be curious about why he is able to do so many things that they cannot with you.” Tim was blushing again.

“He's....Tell them...” Tim didn't know how to put it into words. Jason was his rock. Jason was safe. Jason protected him.

“I am sure I can think of something.” Alfred had that annoying knowing smile again and Tim looked away, hating the heat in his cheeks. Why was he reacting like this? 

Tim could see the angle of the sun from the window. It was getting late. He said as much. Alfred held up a waiting finger, and left the table. Tim watched with curiosity as Alfred rummaged through the pantry, then produced one of Tim's backpacks. 

“It is tracker free.” Alfred handed over the backpack and Tim peeked inside. It was filled with some of Tim's clothes and other belongings, and, to Tim's surprise, a container full of Alfred's cookies. 

“Thank you...Thank you, Alfred.” It took a moment for Tim to get up and get the pack on. He hesitated for a few seconds, then hugged the butler. “Thank you for everything.” It felt for the first time like everything was going to be okay.

“You are more than welcome, Master Timothy. I shall go alert Master Jason you are ready to leave.”


	3. Jason II

At least once a minute for the past forty five or so minutes, Jason's eyes had flickered to the window beside his work desk. He couldn't help but enjoy the view. The window actually looked out onto a brick wall, but that is not what Jason was admiring. No, he was admiring Tim's reflection. 

Jason wasn't stupid. He knew he had developed...an attraction to Tim. Tim had many appealing qualities. The most appealing to Jason at the moment were Tim's shoulders. 

The younger man, Jason refused to think of him as a boy, had once again started working out, and this time it was productive and calm; no longer full of anger or self pity. Jason had watched via reflection as Tim moved from stretches into different exercises. He was currently doing pull ups. Tim had shed his hoodie a few exercises ago and Jason had been pleasantly surprised to see Tim wasn't wearing anything under it. 

The hoodie was so big on Tim it was hard for Jason to remember how muscular he really was. Even if Tim hadn't been working out the past few weeks, he still had definition. The way the muscles moved under that pale skin sent shivers through Jason. The shivers would produce guilt and Jason would force his eyes back to the computer screen. 

This attraction made Jason uneasy so often. Whenever he would wake from a dream that involved Tim, he would feel sick. 

Tim was legally Jason's brother. Though, if Jason were to get technically, he legally was dead, and Tim had never been raised with Jason, but still, it really was the principle of the matter. They were members of the same family. Jason should not have been attracted to Tim like he was. 

Jason also felt guilt over the fact that Tim was so dependent on him. Even though Jason had not acted at all on his attraction, he felt like he was taking advantage of Tim. Tim, his broken little bird, who needed Jason to be there when things got too overwhelming. Jason took far too much pleasure in wrapping a comforting arm around Tim's shoulders and holding him close. He was fucking disgusting.

Tim needed help, not Jason getting his rocks off. 

So Jason tried to keep his distance, as much as he could. Too much made Tim distressed, and Jason could not stomach upsetting him. 

He was still trying to work out when exactly this attraction had begun. When did his need to spite Bruce turn into genuine concern? When had that concern turned into over-protectiveness? And when had that turned into this? 

Jason blamed the fever dreams for this. That fever had messed him up badly. It had produced images of Tim writhing under him and making such wonderful noises and..

His computer beeped angrily at him as Jason kept his finger pressed onto a key for too long. Jason lifted his hand away, but the computer kept beeping. 

“Shut up.” There was a soft thud as Tim dropped from the ceiling, then more as he made his way to the angry computer. When he got close enough, Jason could see individual beads of sweat. He wanted to lick them off Tim's skin. 

“Don't get mad at it. You're the one who hurt it.” Jason had learned over time that Tim talked about computers like they were alive. “Move out of the way. Let me see what you did.” Jason was thankful Tim was too busy looking at the screen to watch him get up. Jason was hard and he wasn't sure how visible it was through sweat pants. 

Jason started to make his way to the bathroom. A cold shower could fix this. Jason prided himself on the fact that he had never touched himself while thinking of Tim, despite how often he got aroused. 

But each day it got more and more difficult not to. 

~*~

Jason absolutely hated going to the Manor. It reminded him of everything he had lost. He knew he was welcome, but it no longer was home, despite what Alfred repeatedly told him.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Tim had his talks Alfred, so every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Jason was at the Manor for about three hours a day. Tim insisted that Jason didn't have to drive him and that he could take the bus from the safe house to the Manor, but Jason wouldn't have it. 

It had only been two weeks, but Tim was improving a lot. Tim could go outside and stay calm and last time they were here, Tim had seen Bruce without having a panic attack. 

Soon, Tim would be back to actually interacting with the family and everything would be back to normal.

Tim wouldn't need him. 

Jason dreaded that day and hated himself for it. He wanted Tim to get better. He really did. He just..didn't want to lose what he had with Tim. Whatever it was. 

When Jason was at the Manor, he occupied himself in various ways. Either Jason would go up to his old room and try to nap, go to the library and read, or, as he was doing now, walk around the grounds. When he was younger, he had enjoyed walking the perimeter and breathing in the semi-fresh air. It was still Gotham, but the air was fresher than it was in the city. 

Jason was noticing that one of the fence posts was getting rusty and was trying to figure out how Alfred had allowed that when he heard the soft crunching of leaves. Jason lifted his head and peered through the branches of a bush, thankful he was mostly hidden behind it. 

Alfred and Tim were slowly heading towards the greenhouse. Tim's face was blotchy and red and Jason knew he was crying, or recently had been. It took all of his control to not go to Tim. This was Alfred's time, and Jason would not encroach on it. Whatever the two talked about, it was obviously helping Tim in some way. Jason did not want to chance messing it up with his presence. 

But Tim had been getting better, hadn't he? So why was he so upset? 

They finally made it to the greenhouse, and when the glass door closed, Jason got up and went straight to the Manor. He'd spend the rest of the time in his room. He didn't trust himself to not go to Tim if he saw him upset again.

~*~

“Who is James Cook?” The very stupid man on the television said.

“Oh come on, it's Henry Hudson. How did you even get onto the show?” Jason asked to no one. Tim was beside him, but it changed every second on whether or not Tim was actually awake. 

“No, I'm sorry. The correct answer was 'Who is Henry Hudson?'” The game show host told the very stupid man. Jason grinned, triumphant. He looked to Tim to state that he should apply for the show and win them lots of money (not that they needed it), and his grin changed to a soft smile. 

Tim had finally fallen asleep properly. He had an afghan, courtesy of Alfred, wrapped around his shoulders, and his bangs were in his face. He looked kind of adorable, which Jason would never admit out loud. 

Jason turned off the television and gently scooped Tim into his arms. Tim instantly curled into Jason's hold, mumbling something under his breath as he did. Jason took his time carrying his little bird to the bed. He was cherishing the rare moment he got to touch Tim when the young man wasn't shaking. 

He fixed the afghan over Tim, then added the blanket to cover him. He wasn't cheesy enough to tuck Tim in. He did have dignity. 

It was still early in the night, so maybe Jason could get some work done on the computer. He wouldn't leave to go patrolling with Tim asleep. 

“Why do you always take the couch?” Jason started at Tim's sleepy voice.

“What?” 

“Why do you always take the couch? It's horrible to sleep on.” 

“Because you have the bed?” Tim pushed himself up slightly and peered at Jason through the dark.

“It's big enough for the both of us...” It was Jason's turn to stare. Sure, they had shared a bed a few times, but it had always started with Tim crying into his chest. This would be different. This would be....conscious. Not an act of Tim needing comfort. “Don't sleep on the couch again.” 

Jason wanted to snap that Tim couldn't tell him what to do, but Tim had laid back down, and was probably right back asleep. Jason bristled. 

Sleeping in bed with Tim would not be a good idea. 

Jason tried to stay awake all night, instead, but combing through police reports was so boring and the computer hum was so lulling that he found his eyelids getting heavy after only a few hours. 

He shut everything down and started to head towards the couch. Then he remembered what Tim had said and looked to the bed. 

He couldn't deny Tim. 

Jason stripped down to his boxers, wondering what the hell he was doing. This was a horrible idea. He laid on his back, as far away as Tim as he could. This was not good. He should just get up and go sleep on the couch. He was an adult. He could face Tim's annoyance. 

There was movement beside him, then a weight on his shoulder. Tim had snuggled into his side. He had done this before, the night Jason had come after leaving Tim alone for a few days, but it was so different. That had been Tim needing to make sure Jason wouldn't leave again in the middle of the night. This was...

Jason wasn't sure what this was.

But he liked it. 

~*~

There was a knock on the door and it took Jason an honest to God moment to realize what the noise was. “Come in....?”

The door opened and Alfred was standing at his bedroom entrance. Jason blinked and pushed himself up. “Is he ready to go already?” They hadn't even been at the Manor an hour. 

“No, Master Jason. I require your...unique touch.”Alfred's eyes twinkled with something Jason couldn't place. “Master Timothy mentioned his knee was aching and I thought it would be wise to get a proper x-ray of the injury.” Jason ohed.

The x-ray machine was in the Batcave. 

Jason had not gone down there in his time alone in the Manor. The thought had never even crossed his mind, really. They were not at the Manor for justice or whatever. They were here to help Tim.

And Tim, despite his progression, was not yet ready to face the Bat-anything.

“Okay.”

Jason followed Alfred down to where Tim was waiting. The youngest of the three was twitching and Jason knew he'd be tapping his good leg if the motion wouldn't cause him to lose his balance. 

“Your leg hurts?” Jason tried to not sound too concerned. 

“No.” Tim was blushing and it would be cute if he didn't look like he was going to throw up. “It just...it feels different.” 

“Bad different?” 

“Just different.” 

The pair followed Alfred to the grandfather clock and Jason mildly wondered how Tim would fair getting down the steep steps. It turned out, Tim did rather well on them, he just took his sweet time. Whether it was because Tim needed to concentrate or Tim was putting off going down to the Cave, Jason didn't know. He suspected the latter, though. 

Jason tried to block the view the best he could. He angled his body and kept an even pace with Tim, so Tim couldn't see the main part of the Cave out of his peripheral vision. Jason was sure Alfred had come down here before he had fetched Jason, because the spotlights that were usually on the display case for the suits had been turned off. 

The medical area of the Cave was blocked off from the main part and Jason had been right about his guess Alfred had come down here earlier, because the x-ray machine was set up and ready to go. Jason was curious as to whether Bruce had bought the item in bulk, as he tended to do with purchases to avoided suspicion. He'd have to ask next time he and Bruce weren't yelling at each other.

Tim was especially twitchy when he had to lie down to get the x-ray. Jason tried to stay close by as they were taken, but did not want to get hit with any radiation. His body didn't need that. 

After the pictures were taken, Jason leaned his shoulder against Tim's, a silent reminder that he was close by. Tim leaned back against him. Alfred did not even blink at the sight when he returned with the developed x-rays.

“Everything seems to be in order. Despite the injury having been aggravated for a time, it is healing nicely. I suspect the difference Master Timothy has been feeling in his leg is the pain receding.” 

“Can I walk on my own again soon?” 

“A few weeks time, sir. The fracture needs to heal completely before you can put weight on it. Otherwise you could permanently damage your leg.”

Jason would keep that in mind next time Tim tried to make it to the bathroom without using his crutches. 

~*~

It was snowing. Jason hated the snow.

It made everything all wet, and cold, and snow usually came with ice. And ice made things slippery and you could never tell where the black ice was when you were flying between rooftops. 

Jason was in a particularly bad mood because the snow and ice had caused him to twist his ankle pretty badly. Tim had pulled a face and Jason was staying in for the night. He couldn't kick butt if he could barely walk. 

So instead he was transferring funds out of some mid-ranking drug kingpin's account into his own. Being grounded didn't mean he couldn't do damage. 

Tim was standing in front of the large window, just staring out. He had been like that for almost an hour. At first, Jason thought he was just lost in thought, as that happened often enough, then Jason noticed Tim was watching something with great interest and it was causing Tim to have the softest of smiles. 

Jason wanted to know what got that look out of Tim. He stood directly behind Tim and tried to follow his gaze, but could not pin point what the blue eyes were following. Jason could not see anything of interest out in the harbor. 

“What are we watching?”

“Santa Claus.” Tim stated it so matter of factly that it was almost funny.

“...excuse me?” Tim sighed and Jason knew Tim was rolling his eyes. 

“Across the harbor, in the sky.” Jason scanned the sky and finally saw it. There was a small, red and white, blinking light going around in a circle on the other side of the harbor. 

“That is Santa?”

“Yes. I mean, not the real Santa, obviously.” 

“Tim, Santa isn't real, you know that, right?” Tim was blushing and Jason couldn't help but laugh. “Oh my god!”

“Shut up, Jason, you know what I meant!” But Tim was smiling, so everything was okay. “It's an animatronic Santa sleigh with reindeer suspended from a helicopter. Santa waves and they cover the sound of the helicopter with carols.”

“Okay. Why?” Tim turned and boggled at Jason.

“Why...?”

“Yeah. Why is there a creepy Santa robot flying around the harbor?” 

“He's not creepy. He's jolly. Today is the Christmas festival. They fly him around for the kids.” 

“Christmas is weeks away.” Tim was pouting up at Jason.

“It's for the kids.” Like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I used to go, when I was little. It was my favorite thing to do...” Tim was looking out the window again. 

Jason had never been to this so called Christmas festival. He'd never even heard of it before now. But, then again, he had not grown up like Tim had. He had been in Gotham's underbelly; Christmas meant nothing to him. 

But it seemed important to Tim, so Jason stayed and watched the little red light fly around the harbor. They were standing so close , that he shouldn't have been surprised when Tim's back brushed his chest. The brush turned into a lean and Tim's stray hairs were tickling Jason's nose. When Tim did not move after a few minutes, Jason chanced putting his hand on Tim's hip. No reaction meant he got to keep it there. 

It was wrong...but it was so nice. 

“It would be really easy for someone to hijack that helicopter.”

“Shut up, Jason, no one is going to hurt Santa.” 

~*~

Dick had been standing in his doorway for the past half hour. He kept shifting his weight and looking like a kicked puppy, but he wasn't saying anything, so Jason ignored him. Jason just wanted to get a nap in before he took Tim back to the loft and went on patrol. But he couldn't sleep with Dick standing there. Finally, he snapped.

“What?”

Dick took that as an invitation and came into the room. The acrobat plopped himself onto Jason's bed, far too close to Jason for his liking. “Alfred said Tim might talk to me today.” That got Jason to raise his brows. He wasn't aware of what was going on in Tim's 'therapy', but actually talking to Dick seemed like a big step. Had he talked to Damian already? By what Tim had told him, the Not!Robin had inflected the least amount of pain onto Tim, but Jason wasn't sure how close Damian and Tim had even been. 

“Okay.” 

“I need to know what to expect.” Jason felt his eyes narrow.

“I'm not telling you-” 

“No! Not that. I mean...I get that. Tim needs to be the one to tell us what happened to him. As much as I want to know, I understand that. I need to know what to expect when I'm around him. What do I do?” Dick's look was pleading. “I don't want to hurt him again. Alfred gave us guidelines for when Tim is around, but I want to make absolutely sure I get it right. And you're around Tim. You understand what he needs.” 

Jason sat up and sighed. As much as he loved to fuck with Dick, he needed to do the right thing. Because the right thing would help Tim. 

“Fine. Tell me what Alfred told you.” Dick bounced in excitement and Jason swore he was an overgrown puppy. An overgrown puppy who, at night, dressed in tights and beat the shit out of people while cracking puns. But an overgrown puppy nonetheless.

“Don't touch him.”

“Yeah, that's pretty high on the list of things you shouldn't do.” 

“Let him come to us. Don't sneak up on him.” Jason was nodding. If any of them snuck up on Tim, Jason would shoot them. “Don't follow him when he leaves. That was pretty much it. We're not really prepared for when he does come to us.”

Jason was sure Alfred would have told Dick what was acceptable before he actually took Dick to see Tim. 

“Uh. Okay. Don't bring up Batman, or Robin, or Nightwing around him.” Dick nodded and Jason knew Dick wanted to ask why. “Don't, I don't know, use the Nightwing voice. You know the one. Just try to sound like..Dick.” It felt so weird to phrase it like that, but Dick would understand what he meant. “Try to not stare at the neck bandage.”

Jason wasn't sure why Tim was still wearing the bandage. He was sure the wound had healed by now. Maybe there was a scar Tim was trying to hide? 

“If you walk, don't slow down for him. He gets really pissed off about that. I don't know, Dick. Try to use your head. If it looks like you're making him upset, back off.”

“When he talks to me, will you be there?” Jason blinked at the question. He hadn't thought of that. 

“I don't know. If he wants me to be, I will be.”

“I'd like it if you were there.” Okay, that was surprising. Jason was sure Dick would have wanted to be alone with Tim. Or...alone with Tim and Alfred, more likely. “I've seen you two together.”

Jason felt a jolt in his heart and got mad. What did Dick mean he'd seen them together? “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“Chill out! I mean. I see the way he is around you. You calm him down. When you first came, he was grabbing onto you and when you guys went down into the Cave. He was totally freaking out before Alfred went and got you. You came down and he was okay. He needs you.” 

Jason could hear it in Dick's voice in the last statement. Dick was jealous and Jason wondered if he even knew it. Dick must have been the one Tim turned to, before. 

Jason couldn't help but be smug. “Yeah, he does.” 

Before Jason could start enjoying himself by rubbing salt into this new wound he discovered, Alfred was standing in his doorway. “I am glad you are both here. Master Timothy has requested both of your presence.” That answered the question on whether or not Tim would need him there. 

Jason thought they would go to the breakfast nook, but Tim was wasn't for them in the living room. He was sitting on the couch, pale, and his fists clenched in his lap. He looked up as they came down the stairs and Jason could see the fear flash in Tim's eyes...before Tim looked at him and relaxed. All that fear and tension slowly eased away when Tim looked at Jason and it made Jason's heart soar. 

Jason dropped onto the couch beside Tim, putting his arms up on the back and his feet on the table. A glare from Alfred had Jason moving his feet onto the floor with a mumbled apology. He hadn't sat directly beside Tim. He had left some space between them, like how normal people sat next to each other. But Tim seemed to not like that, and while Dick and Alfred sat down, Tim moved closer to Jason until he was tucked against Jason's side. 

Jason glanced to Tim trying to work out what this was. Was this a 'I need to feel safe, hold me' thing or...something else? Because this is how they now sat when they watched their game shows; Tim leaning into Jason's side with Jason's arm around his shoulder.

Alfred did not at all seem surprised, but Dick didn't look so pleased. Jason dropped his hand onto Tim's shoulder with a pointed look at Dick. A nice reminder that he could touch Tim and Dick couldn't. 

“Master Timothy, would you like to start?” Tim nodded and glanced over to Dick.

“Hi, Dick...”

“Hi, Tim.” Dick's look of annoyance at Jason switched to a soft, caring smile to Tim. He had missed his little brother. 

“I'm sorry I haven't been able to come to you before now...” 

“No, it's okay, Tim, I understand I-”

“No.” Jason was surprised at how level Tim was able to keep his voice. He could feel how tense Tim was, but Tim was keeping it together. He was proud. “No, Dick...you don't understand. You don't even understand how hard it is for me to sit here and even look at you.” The words slapped Dick across the face and he looked devastated. Jason was really glad he was here to witness this. “I want you to be able to understand, though. I want...I need you to understand why I haven't been able to come home.” This time the words hurt Jason, but he kept his face cool. 

Tim wanted to come home. Of course, he did. It just hurt to hear. Things had been different between them the past few days. Jason thought, just maybe...Tim would want to stay with him. 

Tim started from the beginning. “I told you I was going to go to the Tower, but I decided to do a quick patrol first...” As Tim began telling Dick how he had gotten shot in the back with tranqs from the people he thought he had been protecting, Jason focused on the first line of the story. 

Tim had been on his way to Titan Tower, but he had never made it there. Tim had probably never told the Titans he was coming, because why should he? They didn't all live in the Tower and had their own lives. The family had thought Tim was with the Titans and the Titans had thought Tim was with the family.

That is why no one noticed he was missing. 

Jason felt like maybe he could stop being so angry at the family for not noticing Tim had been missing right away...he'd still be angry over it, but maybe not as angry as before.

Jason was broken out of his own thoughts when he felt Tim shaking under his fingers. He quickly realized what part Tim was at and squeezed his shoulder. 

Dick looked absolutely horrified by what he was hearing. Like he hadn't even imagined that it had been that bad for Tim. How could he have? Most of the pyschos they dealt with didn't think to mess with the mind.

Tim finished with his recall of Jason rescuing him, then curled himself into Jason's shoulder. Jason held him close and tight, proud of his little bird. He could not even fathom how hard that must have been for Tim. 

Dick was staring at Tim and Jason knew that Dick wanted to hug Tim until everything was better, and it was killing him that he couldn't. Jason pulled Tim closer, until Tim was nearly on his lap. 

They sat in silence for what felt like forever. Tim was done talking now and Dick was still trying to work out what to say. 'Sorry' wasn't enough. 

The front door opened and closed, bringing the silence to an end. Alfred cleared his throat. 

“Ten o'clock on Monday, then, Master Timothy?” 

~*~

Tim was silent and Jason didn't mind. He had made a huge leap and was probably processing it still, going over each moment in his head and analyzing it. Because that is how Tim was. 

Jason added socks to his mental shopping list as he made sure his boots were on securely. His socks were getting holes in them and there was nothing worse than running around with a blister. 

“Why were you trying to make him jealous?” Jason looked up and Tim was standing in front of him. 

“Who? I make a lot of people jealous.” Tim wrinkled up his nose and was one step away from putting his hands on his hips. 

“Dick. Earlier. You looked right at him when your arm was around me. You were trying to make him jealous.” 

Jason did not like this conversation at all. They had never discussed their closeness and Jason did not want to start now. 

“I was just fucking with him.” Jason grabbed his helmet and started to put it on. “I'm heading over to Iceberg, Pengu- Ow!” Tim hit Jason's helmet with his crutch, knocking it out of his hands, and to the floor with a clatter. “What the fuck, Tim?!”

“You were trying to make him jealous. I want to know why.” 

“It's not that big of a deal!” 

“Yes, it is! Why were you trying to make him jealous!?” Tim was shouting now, and it just made Jason want to start shouting back.

“Why is it so important!?”

“Because I don't want to be used by you!” Jason's eyes went wide under his domino. “I want to know that you were doing that because you wanted to! Not to make Dick jealous!” 

“What?” Jason had barely whispered the question. 

“Were you holding me because you wanted to or to make Dick jealous that you can touch me and he can't?” 

The question was so heavy and Jason had to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. 

“Both.” He couldn't lie to Tim. Tim's shoulders sank at his answer. 

“Why?” 

“Because the Boy Wonder finally wasn't perfect. I could do something he couldn't do.” The answer had come from somewhere he hadn't excepted. That truth hurt more than Jason thought it would have. 

“Dick's not perfect.” 

“Don't tell him that.” Tim hobbled forward, and with one arm keeping him balanced with his crutch, reached up and dug his nails under Jason's domino. Tim carefully removed it, and Jason closed his eyes as it was tossed aside. 

This was far too intimate and revealing for him. Why couldn't Tim have just kept his mouth shut and let Jason go punch things. Jason was good at punching things. 

“You're not perfect, either.”

“Gee, thanks, Tim.” 

Later, when Jason was thinking back on this moment, he would have excepted some cheesy ass line like 'You're perfect for me' or even 'You don't have to be', but no line was ever said.

Tim just leaned up and kissed the very corner of Jason's lips. 

Jason has never been the type to fight his instincts and desires, and lately, he had been battling himself over his want Tim. But now, here Tim was, staring up at him with big blue eyes, waiting for a response. 

If Tim wanted Jason to protest that wasn't going to happen. 

Jason grabbed Tim by the neck and yanked him forward, crushing their mouths together. Tim let out a muffled yelp, which quickly turned into a moan as Tim returned the kiss. Jason kicked Tim's crutch out from under him, pulling his little bird firmly against him. Tim used his newly free arm to wrap around Jason's neck. 

Tim was a fierce kisser and Jason wondered who Tim had got to practice on. They were both aggressive; teeth clinking against each others', growling and moaning, and Tim had scratched the back of Jason's neck where is suit didn't cover the skin. Equally as fierce, Jason was sure he would be leaving a bruise on Tim's hip. 

Jason wanted more. 

He turned and tossed Tim onto the bed. Tim landed on his bed, with a soft 'thud' and a strange look. It was a cross between annoyance and arousal. Jason crawled over Tim. He used one hand to balance himself over his little bird, while the other hand wrapped around Tim's throat. Blue eyes went wide, but they weren't frightened. Tim licked his red and puffy lips, waiting for Jason to make a move. 

Jason hadn't put on his gloves yet, and he was thankful for that. He dug his nails into the gauze around Tim's neck and began ripping it off. 

Jason expected to see a horrible scar across Tim's neck, but there wasn't one. The only indication there had been any type of injury were a slight discoloration and a very tiny, thin scar where the cut had been deepest. 

Jason pushed his knee up between Tim's thighs and ground it against Tim's pelvis. His little bird moaned and Jason jumped into action. 

He was biting and kissing and sucking at any skin on Tim's neck he could reach. He was going to leave Tim's neck covered in bruises. Tim was making so many delicious noises, noises that Jason couldn't ever have dreamed about, and he was rubbing himself against Jason's thigh and it was all so good.

Jason's computer began to shriek. 

Jason stopped his assault on Tim's neck and glared at his work station, willing it to shut up.

“You've got to be fucking kidding me.” 

“What's that noise mean?” Tim's voice was so full of want and his pupil's were so fucking dilated that Jason wanted to ignore the computer. 

But he couldn't. 

“There's been a break out at Arkham...” Jason pushed himself into sitting and closed his eyes. A jock strap was not meant to hold back an erection. 

“Go. We'll finish this later.” Jason nodded and went to find his domino and helmet. Of course Tim would put the city's needs before his own. He was a true Robin. 

~*~

All hell had broken out in Gotham. That was the only way to describe it. 

The sky was filled with smoke and ash from the countless fires that had started. There had been no less than six explosions and the air was filled with screams and sirens. 

“There has been a sighting of Harley Quinn three blocks East of you.” Tim's voice whispered into his ear. Hood groaned. He hated fighting Harley; her voice annoyed him and she jumped around more than Nightwing did. 

“On it, Red.” Hood pushed off the building he had been swinging towards, and headed back to where he had come from. 

Hood had no idea how this night had gone from so good to so bad so quickly. Multiple parties must have gotten involved to organize this break, because everything was going down too quickly. It was going to be a very long night.

There was a scream and Hood looked down into the alley he was flying over. A woman in what looked to be some sort of retail uniform was backed into a corner by a scruffy looking guy with a knife. 

“I don't have time for this.” Hood aimed and fired, still mid air. The scruffy man jerked as the bullet ripped through his shoulder, and he was screaming along with the woman. She at least had enough sense to start running away. 

“Hood?” 

“Just scaring off a mugger, Red. 'm fine. Now where exactly is 'three blocks east' because that is kind of really vague.” 

Three blocks east turned out to be a jewelry store, with a fire starting on it's roof. Hood groaned for the upteenth time that nigth. 

The store had been looted, so there was no point to think of it as a jewelry store anymore. Hood clicked the safety off his guns, cautious. Harley wouldn't be going after shiny objects with this much chaos around. Something was most definitely up. 

An explosion rocked the street nearby. His training, the non-Batman training, told him that it was the same type of explosion as the last one he heard. Destructive, not big. Someone was purposely trying to destroy things. 

“Red, map out where all the bombs are going off. Tell me what's by them.” 

“What are you thinking?” Hood knew that Tim was already working on his new task.

“Those aren't gas explosions, or big booms to scare people.” 

“I don't see anything. They are kind of clustered, but there is no pattern. There is nothing nearby that would be worth bringing down.” 

“Keep looking.” 

Hood saw a flash of blonde bobbing in the neighboring shop to the once jewelry store. “Visual on Harley.” 

Hood broke his way into the other shop, calling out as he got inside. “Harley, Harley, come out to play~” He heard a giggle from deeper into the store and stilled. Something was very wrong with that giggle. It didn't sound right, but he couldn't place it. “Harley, don't make me come in there. I won't play nice if I do.” There was no response and Hood sighed.

Sometimes Harley could be reasoned with, but it seemed now was not one of those times. “Alright, I gave you fair warning.” Hood followed the giggles into the store. 

He realized it was a toy store and Hood was big enough to say in the dark, it freaked him out. Kids didn't even like puppets, so why were there so many of them hanging on the walls? What the hell was wrong with toy makers?

The door to the storage room was open and Hood looked in, after making sure there were no surprises waiting for him. There was a trap door in the floor, and someone had gone down it. 

“Red. What is under me?”

“The ground?” This was not the time to be a smart-ass. “Oh. Hood. There's an access tunnel to a maintenance entrance for the subway system.” 

“Of course there is.” He was being sarcastic. Hood kneeled beside the hatch and looked down. This felt like a trap. 

Hood jumped down into the darkness. 

~*~

Hood could hear footsteps running in front of him, and didn't take long from him to catch up. “Stop, or I am shooting you, Harley!” The figure turned and Hood had both of his guns trained on them in the blink of an eye. “You're not Harley.” He snarled.

The figure was a woman, but the figure was all wrong, and the blonde hair was a bad wig. The biggest give away were the colours of her suit were inverted. 

“Aw. I was hoping you'd be the cute one in the spandex. He's got a good butt.” Hood did not need to hear that.

“If I don't do it, Harley is going to kill you when she finds out you copied her style. Badly, I might add.” 

“I thought you guys don't kill.” She, who ever she was, was grinning behind her make up. 

“The good guys don't kill. 'm not exactly one of them. Now. Who the fuck are you and why are you blowing up the subway? Because, really, that bit gets really old, really fast.” 

“Oh! I know who you are!” She was clapping and, god, she was as annoying as Harley. She got that part right at least. “You shot up the warehouse!” 

“Okay, you really have to be more specific.”

“You're the one who took back the present!” Suddenly it all clicked and it took all of Jason's will to not shoot her between the eyes. She was a member of the fucked up gang that had been trying to get the Joker's attention. She had been part of the group that kidnapped Tim.

“Who. The. Fuck. Are. You?” 

The woman giggled. “I'm a decoy.” 

Hood was shooting but he wasn't fast enough. 

The tunnel behind the not Harley shook and the noise was deafening. The last thing Hood felt was his back slamming against concrete. 

~*~

“Hood! Hood, can you hear me!? HOOD!”

~*~

“Jason! Jason, please, say something! Say anything! JASON!” 

~*~

“I'm coming, Jason. Just hang on, please. I know you're there. Just hang on.” 

~*~

“I've got you...come on, Jason...I've got you, now.” 

~*~

“Stay here. Don't move. I'll be right back.”

~*~

Cracking.

Screaming.

Laughter.

More cracks.

“Tim, are you okay..?”

“No! NO! STAY AWAY FROM HIM! DON'T TOUCH HIM!” 

..Nothingness.

 

~*~

It hurt to breath. That was the first thing Jason realized. It felt like he had been hit in the chest with a two tonne weight. Jason forced his eyes to open, even if they wanted to stay closed. 

His helmet had been removed, was the second thing he realized. The ceiling above him was far too high and there was familiar squeaking in the distance. 

He was in the Batcave. He couldn't remember how he got there. The last thing he could remember was going down into the trap door in the toy store. 

 

It all came rushing back suddenly and Jason's head screamed in pain. It had never been Harley. It was some bitch from the gang that had taken Tim. She had triggered an explosion...then..

“Tim!” Jason sat up and his head was head was spinning. He couldn't see straight. He felt like he was soaring, then falling, and Jason squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to make it stop. Strong hands pushed against his shoulders, forcing Jason to lay back down.

“Tim's asleep upstairs.” Jason cracked open an eye and saw Dick standing over him. He had almost expected, wanted it to be Bruce. 

“What happened?”

The idiots who were trying to impress the Joker had been the one to break everyone out of Arkham. Jason had really thought it was just the one idiot, the Fool, who had been trying to get the Clown Prince of Crime's attention, but he had been wrong. There had been a handful of them. They had been trying to blow up the subway lines and sink the city, something the Joker routinely tried and failed at. They had been stopped and were locked away, far from the Joker, who hadn't managed to escape Arkham during the chaos. Many of the inmates were still at large, but the most dangerous were secured. 

But Dick wasn't telling Jason everything, and he knew that.

“Dick.” 

“What?”

“What are you leaving out? What happened?” Jason was glaring and Dick looked uncomfortable. “What happened to Tim?” He could remember Tim's voice. Tim's touch. Tim's...screams. Tim had been there. “What happened to Tim, Dick?!” 

“We all heard the explosion over the comm...He had linked us all up when you went down into the tunnels. We all thought you were...” They thought he was dead.... again. “We couldn't get to you, there was so much going on.” 

“You were going to leave me down there?” 

“No, of course not! But...every one was dealing with the city burning down. Tim refused to wait. He went after you.” Dick shook his head. “He kept repeating that you were alive...like he did when...” When everyone thought Bruce was dead and Tim had refused to believe it.

“Well, I was.” 

“I know, but we didn't know that. You were literally right in front of the blast and your vitals disappeared.” How they had been monitoring his vitals was something for another day.

“So, Tim found me, then what?” 

“He was bringing you back up and they were there, waiting for him.” Jason's heart dropped into his stomach. He didn't have to ask who. “He fought well for not being able to use his leg...but I think they rushed him...” Jason didn't even realize he had balled his hands into fists until Dick glanced down at them. “We got there right after. All of us. He wouldn't let us touch you at all. He was manic. We had to sedate him.” Dick's voice dripped with guilt. “We still have to keep him sedated...” 

“I want to see him.” 

“Jay, you can't move. You shouldn't even sit up! You were hit full on by the blast! You had internal bleeding and you don't have a rib that isn't broken.” 

“Do you really think you are going to stop me, Dick?” Dick was looking him over, then he sighed, giving in.

“Let me at least get you a wheel chair...Man, Alfred is going to kill me.” 

“Thank you.” 

~*~

Jason couldn't remember ever going into Tim's room before. It didn't really look lived in. There weren't any pictures on the wall and the personal effects were to a minimum. There weren't even any clothes on the ground. The only indication a teen lived in the room were the stack of textbooks on the desk. 

Did Tim still go to high school? He had never mentioned school before. 

Or was he in college now? Tim was what...seventeen? Going on eighteen? He wasn't that much younger than Jason. 

But he looked like a kid at the moment. Tim was tucked into his bed, with his head rolled to one side, and a pained expression on his face. The guilt wouldn't leave Jason's stomach. 

Tim was like this because he had gone to help Jason.

Jason, who had known he was going into a trap, and had gone anyways. 

Tim was hurt because of Jason. 

He had a black eye and Jason knew there were more bruises hidden under the blanket. Jason shakily pushed himself into standing, glad that Dick had done the smart thing for once in his life, and had just dropped Jason off. His world was spinning again, and everything hurt, but after a minute, it wasn't so bad and Jason could open his eyes. 

The guilt made his legs wobble. From this angle, he could see Tim's neck. He could see the dark marks dotted along the soft skin there. All the marks at Jason had left. 

He was having trouble breathing and he didn't know if it was from his emotions or the fact his lungs had suffered some pretty bad trauma. He was able to shuffle the few feet and fall into Tim's bed. The landing hurt, but he just wanted to be near Tim. 

His precious little bird. His precious little stupid bird who should have just stayed home and let Jason die. 

Jason crawled his way up to laying beside Tim and wrapped one arm around Tim's middle and pulled him close. 

“'m so sorry. I shouldn't have gone down there. I'm so fucking stupid. I'm so sorry, Tim. I'm so fucking sorry.” 

Jason's shoulders were shaking. He was so angry at himself. So angry at the bastards who had hurt his little bird. So angry at Bruce and Dick and everyone else for not stopping Tim from leaving.

He couldn't cry or anything, as much as he wanted to. All Jason could do was curl around Tim and shake. He failed to notice the large figure at the entrance of the room, who watched for a few moments before closing the door. 

~*~

Jason didn't even realize he had fallen asleep until he woke up. 

He was still curled around Tim, and Tim was still out. But at least now Tim looked somewhat peaceful. Jason glanced around the unfamiliar space that was Tim's room, making sure they were safe. Everything seemed fine, and there was a tray of food sitting on Tim's bedside table, which Jason was able to reach without too much strain. 

He'd have to ask Alfred for some tips on being stealthy because the man had it down to an art form. 

The food was all soft, so it was easy to eat, and Jason ate half of it. There was also a medicine cup with some pills in it that Jason dry swallowed, hoping they were for him and were pain pills. 

Eating was more exhausting than Jason remembered, and he wrapped himself around Tim again. 

~*~

Food appeared two more times before Jason didn't feel like he needed a nap after eating. It still hurt like a bitch to move around, so he stayed by Tim's side. 

It hurt his heart so much to look at Tim. Tim wasn't waking up; he just constantly looked like he was caught up in a bad dream. 

And it was all Jason's fault.

How far back would this set Tim's therapy, but mental and physical? Jason wanted to know, he wanted Tim to wake up, but he was terrified of that happening. He didn't want to face the truth. 

~*~

The truth was so much worse than Jason could even handle. 

Jason had thought his little bird was broken before. It was nothing compared to this. Tim was just...

Tim was gone. It was the only way to explain it. Dick had said Tim hadn't been able to stop screaming when they first found him, but now they couldn't coax a word out of him. He didn't react at all. He didn't flinch when Dick, or Damian, or even Bruce came into the room. He just sat in bed, staring at his lap. 

Tim would eat when Jason fed him, and would get up to use the restroom after some convincing. The only real reaction Jason could get out of Tim was when Jason would get up without Tim. Tim would grab Jason's wrist and stare at him with empty eyes until Jason told him where he was going. 

The first time Tim had left a bruise on Jason's skin.

Tim's eyes haunted Jason when he slept. All he could think about was the last time he had seen Tim's eyes before this happened. They had been so full of life and now they were glassy and unfocused. 

And it was all Jason's fault. 

~*~

Jason could breath without his ribs screaming. But it still hurt. Everything hurt. Everything hurt because Tim was still just a shell. 

He had gotten Tim, all of Tim, for only a few minutes before he was ripped away. 

And it was Jason's fault. 

Tim had finally started to make progress. He had confronted Dick. His knee had been healing. He was working out. 

Tim had been getting better. Tim had been happy.

And now it was all gone and it was Jason's fault. 

Why was his little bird so lost? Jason tried everything he could think of to get some reaction out of Tim. Calling him 'Babybird', gripping the back of his neck. Jason had even kissed him. All it had gotten him was a blink. 

Jason broke everything he touched. He knew that. He had messed up so many times, ruined so many things, but this...this was the worst. Hurting Tim like this made Jason wish that he had never dug his way out of his grave. 

It wasn't fair.

If Jason had not given in to his lust for Tim, if he hadn't been so careless, if he hadn't gone down the trap door, if he had just shot the woman in the head when he realized it wasn't Harley, if Jason had done his damn job and looked to see if the Fool had been working alone. 

Tim would have been safe.

This was all Jason's fault.

~*~

Jason had stopped eating. Food tasted like nothing in his mouth and he couldn't keep what he managed to swallow down. Guilt had wrapped itself around him in a tight blanket. He never thought he would be the one acting like this. He had always been full of action, but looking at Tim just drained everything away. 

Tim had become his everything in the few short months that had lived together. Jason relived their last week or so over and over in his head, trying to figure out how they had been so happy together. 

Would that ever come back? 

Jason wanted it more than anything he could ever remember wanting. 

He wanted to be able to live those moments again with Tim, and to create new moments. He wanted to kiss Tim, to make him moan, and to make him laugh, to annoy him by pointing out Tim had burnt their food, to do everything that had become so normal to him.

Jason wanted to be happy with Tim. 

Jason wanted to love Tim, because maybe....maybe that had been what things were leading up to.

Maybe that was where Jason already was.

~*~

Tim stopped eating and it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Jason cracked. He tore apart Tim's room, screaming in anger as he did so. Tim just sat there, watching him with a blank expression, and it just made everything worse.

Jason was a fuck up. He ruined everything. He made everything worse. By just being near Tim he made Tim's condition worse. Everything was his fault. 

And Jason just couldn't anymore. He couldn't hurt Tim anymore. 

So he ran. 

He ran from the room, the Manor, from Gotham, without stopping to think. He just need to get away, so he couldn't hurt Tim anymore. 

It Jason had just stopped for one second before he ran away, he would have seen the tears going down Tim's cheeks.


	4. Tim II

Damian refused to believe the conclusion that everyone else had come to. Tim Drake had , after all that he had been through, finally snapped. Alfred was very technical in explaining it, but simply put, Drake's mind couldn't handle everything that had happened, and shut off for a while. 

Damian thought it was a very stupid conclusion. He was almost insulted by it. 

Drake was not weak.

Damian had read Drake's files. He knew Drake suffered tragedy after tragedy, more than what was to be expected for someone in their line of work. He'd lost so many people close to him, but Drake continued to push on. Damian felt a little ruffle of pride as he thought of Drake's ability to push on. 

Drake had pushed for the reappearance of Batman after their Father's apparent death. Drake had pushed to find their Father when they all believed him to be gone. 

Timothy Drake-Wayne did not simply give up. 

Damian perched himself on the end of Drake's bed and stared at him. They must be missing something. There had to be a real reason why Drake was like this. 

Drake had gotten worse since Todd had left, but...that could mean any of things. Todd had been Drake's pillar as of late. It was not strange for Drake to not be as strong without that pillar. But it didn't make him weak. 

Damian slowly got closer and closer to Drake until he was almost on top of him, searching for the tiniest of clues as to what was wrong. 

Damian's stomach was beginning to growl and he was about to call it a night when he finally saw something. “GRAYSON!” 

Grayson had been lurking around since Todd had left, just in case Drake required something. Grayson was on the bed before Damian finished calling for him. “What? What's wrong? Did something happen?”

“Does Drake's right pupil look more dilated than the left?” Grayson had his face in front of Drake's, carefully examining him. 

“Yeah, a little...” 

Damian couldn't help but smirk. “If I am remembering correctly, and I am, we were not able to check Drake for injuries until after we returned to the Cave, yet he had to be given a sedative before we could transport him.” Grayson was staring at Damian now, trying to follow the train of thought. 

“Tim didn't have a head injury, Damian. We checked him.” 

“Ttch. We checked him when he was sedated. We never got to ask if he got hit in the head. Not all injuries are visible.” Damian waved a hand towards Drake. “The proof is there. Pupil dilation is a classic symptom of a head injury. Sometimes, despite being inconvenient, symptoms do not manifest right away. Drake must have been hit in the head before we got there.” Damian crossed his arms, daring Grayson to question his logic. “He needs to have a brain scan.”

~*~

Tim had been hit in the head before Batman and Robin had shown up to the fight. The wound-less damage plus the sedative had resulted in what Alfred would deem ' a moderate traumatic brain injury.' None of the scans had picked it up because it had taken time to appear. Tim had been in a daze, his brain struggling to process what was going on around him. Lights were too bright and there had been ringing in his ears constantly. According to the machines, Tim had also had repeated absent seizures, which had just kept keeping him in his daze. 

Luckily, there had been no bleeding in his brain, only slight swelling. Different rounds of medication to combat the swelling and seizures had Tim becoming more and more aware of what was going on around him....and of what had happened. 

Jason had left. No other information about what had happened during his daze was relevant. Jason had left and no one had heard from him. 

Tim went through explanations in his head. Something had happened that required the Hood's attention. Jason had gotten into a fight with someone at the Manor and needed time to cool off. Anything but the fact that Jason could have left because of Tim. 

~*~

“Alright, Master Timothy. That should do it. Try putting some weight on it now.” Tim slipped off the exam table and stood without the use of his crutches. His right leg instantly flared up in pain. “How does it feel?” 

“Fine.” Tim's voice was neutral and his expression gave no hint of the discomfort his knee was giving him. Alfred looked over Tim, obviously not believing him.

“Walking on it before you are not ready to will just reverse the healing.” Tim sat back down and Alfred adjusted the brace around Tim's knee. 

“I know.” Alfred just hummed as he tightened a strap. 

“We will check it again in a week. Until then, keep using the crutches.” Tim dragged said crutches over to him and eased himself up. He didn't like these crutches. They were shiny and so very light. It had taken him a day to get used to them. 

But his old crutches, like many other things Tim had grown attached to, had been damaged beyond repair during the fight. 

“Thanks, Alfred.” Tim started to make his way back up to the Manor. He could hear muffled voices behind him, which he knew were Bruce and Alfred discussing him. 

~*~

The red numbers of Tim's alarm clock flashed at him. It was the middle of the night and Tim knew he was alone in the Manor. Batman, Robin, and Nightwing were needed in the city and that meant Alfred was needed in the Cave. 

In the silence, Tim could not shut off his mind. He felt empty and it was so hard to care about anything. He conveniently had a head injury he could blame and refused to acknowledge there might be another reason he couldn't feel anything. No. Something had definitely been knocked loose in his head and this had nothing to do with...

Tim's hand tightened around his blanket and pressed his nose into his pillow. There was the faintest scent of smoke there. 

Tim had built a nest around himself. Pillows were stacked behind him that he pressed his back against, and he had rolled up a blanket to lay across over his side. If Tim closed his eyes and got distracted enough, it almost felt like someone was lying behind him, with their arm over him. 

~*~

Dick was telling some sort of story over breakfast that involved a lot of hand motions. Bruce looked mildly amused, Alfred was shaking his head, and Damian was resisting the urge to tell Dick he was an idiot. Things almost appeared to be normal. 

Tim was pushing his food around his plate, trying to give off the appearance he had eaten something. He was trying to sort out where all his fear had gone. Two weeks ago, he could not have done this. He couldn't have been in the same room as Bruce. But now, he just didn't care. He could look directly at Bruce, sitting right across from him, and feel nothing. Feeling nothing was becoming increasingly common for Tim. 

He could feel the concerned eyes on him, but kept his own gaze firmly on his orange juice. 

“Are you okay, Tim?” Dick had stopped his story, and now everyone was staring.

“Just tired.” 

“Okay...” He missed the concerned look shared between Bruce and Alfred. 

~*~

The only time Tim felt anything was when he dreamed. 

Jason was there and everything was good. They were laughing and touching and Tim could feel the smile on his face. Then fire would consume everything and Jason would be standing behind the flames, just out of reach. Tim would fight to get to him, burning his arms, but the heat was too much for Tim. Jason would shake his head, then turn and go deeper into the flames. 

Tim would wake up screaming, with tears on his cheeks. But the Manor was always empty at night and no comfort would come to him. 

Tim turned himself over and buried himself into his stack of pillow. They slid out of formation and Tim could not imagine them as anything but pillows. 

The floorboards creaked outside his door and Tim lifted his head. “Jason..?” His voice sounded far too hopeful to his own ears. Tim pushed himself out of bed, grabbed his crutches, and hobbled to the door. 

Nothing was in the hall. 

It had just been an old house making noises. 

Tim sighed and leaned against the door frame. He shivered as the cold wood pushed against his bare skin. 

His....Jason's...hoodie was gone. It had been ripped a part the night of the break out. 

The floors creaked again, this time from Tim walking on them. He knew where Jason's room was, but he had never been in there. It had always been off limits in his mind.

The room didn't remind Tim of Jason at all. It was clean and open. Everything was neatly organized, save the bookcase. The bookcase was a controlled chaos that screamed 'Jason Todd'. There was no system at all to the way books were placed. Some books were upside down or on their sides, and they all looked well read. The bookcase made Tim smile. 

Tim searched the closet and drawers, but there was not one hint of anything that Jason would wear. All the clothes smelled like Alfred's brand of laundry soap and everything was too small to ever have fit Jason now. 

There was a creak further in the Manor and Tim knew that sound too well to mistake it for anything else. Alfred had come up from the Cave. 

Tim snatched a random book from the shelf before going back to his room as silently as he could. He curled back up in his bed before finally looking down at his stolen treasure. Tim had no idea what it was. It seemed to be a novel, but the language was one he didn't recognize, though he thought it might have been Slavic in origin, even if it was written in Roman script. Tim turned the book over in his hands, examining it. It was small, paper back, and had an all red cover with black lettering. 

He couldn't read it, but it was something. Something to hold him to Jason. Tim tucked the book under his fallen stack of pillows and tried to go back to sleep. 

~*~

The Manor grounds were covered in a blanket of white. It deterred Tim from going outside. Tim had spent the last few days trying to get away from the smothering silence that was inside. Wreaths, bobbles, trees, and ribbon had appeared in every corner of the Manor over night and Tim wondered if Alfred ever actually slept. 

All the decorations made the emptiness inside of him more apparent. Tim had always enjoyed Christmas and now it was all just a reminder of his lack of feelings. 

Tim was wandering the halls when he came across a small snow globe that held a Santa figurine. He had just glanced at it to see what it was, then had stopped and stared. The little object stirred something in him. All he could think of was a gentle, but firm, touch on his hip. 

Tim was not aware that he had grabbed the snow globe until he was throwing it at the wall. It shattered and liquid and glass flew every where. Tim stood there watching the liquid run down the wall, leaving behind glitter and white puffs. He was shaking, he realized, and the emptiness felt bigger than ever. It was wrapping around him and everything was becoming so heavy. His knees gave into the weight and Tim crumbled to the ground. 

Jason was gone and he wasn't coming back. He wasn't on a mission or had been driven out by a fight. 

Jason had left because of Tim, for whatever reason. Tim had done something wrong, he had driven Jason away.

Or...maybe...Tim felt his throat tighten and his body felt like he had been dunked into an ice bath. 

Or maybe Jason had never cared about Tim in the first place. Maybe all the glances Tim thought he had seen had been in his head. The kiss had been pure sexual need and Tim had over thought all the previous interactions. Jason had been indulging Tim, with all the sweet touches. 

The emptiness that had been inside Tim for the last week shattered. Everything poured out of Tim and he curled into himself. 

Everything was so wrong. How had he failed so miserably at everything? He had failed as Robin, failed as Red Robin, failed at being able to defend himself from a bunch of lowly thugs. He failed to protect the people he loved. He failed to live up to be the perfect son, the perfect brother. And to rub it in now, his body was failing him. 

No wonder Jason had left. Tim was not good enough. Despite everything he had tried, Tim was weak, and now he was crying over a stupid snow globe. 

“Stop sniveling, Drake.” 

Tim's head jerked up and he stared at Damian. How long had he been there? 

“He is not coming back. He made his decision and you need to make yours.” Tim could feel his cheeks go hot. He was not having this conversation, especially not with Damian.

“What are you talking about?” God, his voice sounded so weak, just like the rest of him. 

“Ttch. You know exactly what I mean. I am not here to spell it out for you. Father and Grayson have been tip-toeing around you and I have had enough of it.” Damian stomped over to Tim, grabbed him under the arm, and yanked Tim up. Tim stumbled but managed to keep himself on his feet. “Stop being pathetic. Todd left and it is something you have to accept and move on from.” Had Tim been that obvious to everyone but himself? “You are being a disgrace and acting like this will not bring him back.” Damian poked Tim hard in the chest then crossed his arms. “I will share some advice that Father often has given me, albeit, modified for your needs. Channel your pain and anger into actions.” Damian smirked. “Make him regret ever leaving.”

~*~  
Tim took Damian's advice to heart, because the ten year old had been right; Jason had made his choice. Tim needed to make his. 

Tim's bo staff had always been an extension of his arm. He had always been a natural with it and he was not at all surprised that he had not lost any of his skills, despite not having used them for almost three months. He worked its use into his training, striking a punching bag with it.

“It's not a work out if the thing you're hitting doesn't hit back, you know.” Tim rolled his eyes as Dick came onto the training mat. 

“Are you volunteering to be my dummy instead?”

“I'm no dummy!” But Dick was taking out his practice escrima sticks. Tim hummed in response, turning to face his older brother and slipping into a fighting stance. “I'm not going to go easy on you.”

“I'd be insulted if you did, Dick.” They both launched towards each other. The blows were meant to hurt, but not seriously injure. Dick was the speedier of the two, but Tim was more calculating. They were evenly matched, until Tim took advantage of the fact Dick cared too much. Tim purposely stumbled and half faked a groan of pain as he landed from a leap backwards. 

“Tim, are you okay?” Dick was rushing forward, and Tim quickly moved, knocking Dick's feet out from under him. Dick recovered quickly, but Tim knew how fast his brother could move. He followed up with a smack of the end of his staff to Dick's chest, sending him tumbling. Two spins, a smack to the knee, and then a hit to the shoulder had Tim resting his bo staff's end against Dick's neck.

“I win.”

“You cheated.”

“I did no such thing.” 

“Master Timothy!” Tim cringed and retracted his bo staff. “When I said that you could walk without the use of your crutches, I did NOT mean you could start jumping around on it!” 

Dick stuck his tongue out at Tim. “Cheaters never win.” 

“Shut up, Dick.” 

“Master Timothy, get to the examination table right now or so help me, I will confine you to a wheelchair for the next two months!”

~*~

To keep from angering Alfred, Tim decided to make progress in a different way. He finally got around to checking in with school, pleasantly surprised to see that someone had dropped Tim from all of his classes before the close dates. He had only been able to attend a few of his classes, but was glad to see his first semester of his college transcript would not be littered with 'Fs'. 

Tim also spent a lot of time catching up with what had happened in Gotham, and the world, while he had been hidden away. There had been no major tragedies, but everything was still as bleak as it had always been. 

Tim was stretched out on his bed, flipping through different websites on his laptop for anything of interest to read, when there was a knock at his bedroom door. Tim rolled himself up into sitting. The sun had set, so everyone should have been out. “Come in?” 

The door opened and Bruce was standing on the other side, holding something behind his back with one hand. He came into the room a few steps and looked around with interest. Tim was sure Bruce noticed the way Tim had arranged his pillows. “I'm always surprised at how clean this room is. Dick's always looks like a bomb went off in it.” 

“If it makes you feel better, my room at the Tower is a mess.” Bruce smiled, genuinely smiled, and that made Tim smile. 

“It does.” Bruce took his hand out from behind his back, revealing a carefully wrapped rectangular present. He held it out to Tim. “This is for you.”

Tim took the gift, surprised at it's weight. The box was large, but only weighed a few pounds. “Christmas is still a few days away...”

“This is something long over due. Open it.” It wasn't an order. Tim took care in unwrapping the gift, refusing to let the paper tear. He blinked at the large, unmarked cardboard box sitting in his lap, then opened the lid. Inside sat a sleek silver laptop, but instead of any company logo on it, there was the Red Robin logo. Tim removed his gift from the box delicately, running his hands over it. It was light as a feather.

“Bruce...this is...amazing. Thank you.”

“Barbara helped me put it together.” Which meant it was above top of the line. “It's got full access to the Cave's system..with no ability for the Cave to back trace the connection without your authorization. It has no tracers or tracking programs embedded into it.” Tim looked up, his eyes going wide. He understood what Bruce was implying. If Tim wanted to leave, he could leave, and they would not chase him, but he was still a member of the family. 

While staring at Bruce, Tim realized this was the first time they had been alone in months. He felt a small amount of guilt in his stomach. He had been so frightened of Batman that he had forgotten it was just Bruce under the cowl. Bruce, the man who had taken him in without question after his parents died, the man who had adopted him when Tim had felt so alone. Bruce could have never hurt Tim. Bruce was his father.

Tim set aside his new laptop and went to Bruce, hugging him around the middle. Bruce rested a hand on Tim's shoulder for a moment, before hugging him back. 

“Thank you, Bruce.”

“You're welcome, son.”

~*~

Christmas came and went before Tim had realized it, and the new year started. Tim signed himself up for classes, intending to keep going to them this time, and kept up his training. He wasn't quite ready to go back into the field yet. Part of it because he believed (despite what he was told) that he was not up to snuff yet...and part of it was because he feared what he would encounter. 

Tim did not want to be hurt like he had been again. He knew he would get hurt fighting crime, it was a given. He could handle what was thrown at his body. Tim feared that his mind would somehow get hurt again and he would crumble and be unable to recover. 

Tim also feared who was out there. Jason had not been heard from, still, but it was unknown if he was in Gotham or not. Tim did not think he could handle seeing Jason while on patrol.

He still thought about Jason often. Jason filled his dreams, and Tim was not ashamed of himself when his hand worked its way down his body as he would think about Jason at night. He couldn't just forget about him, even if he knew Jason had left him. 

Jason had meant so much to Tim, more than anyone else had in a long time. Tim had dated before, and maybe had even been in love, but none of it had felt as right as it had with Jason. Everything between them had been so easy and natural, in all the ways that it had mattered; the jokes, the snark, the synced schedules, the way they had gravitated towards each other when on other sides of the loft until they were curled up on the couch together, the way they worked as a team when the Hood had patrolled. 

And they hadn't even admitted anything to each other. All Tim had to go on was the one kiss and a handful of touches. Even though Jason had crushed Tim's heart, Tim still missed him, still craved him. 

Still loved him. 

~*~

“Tim.” 

Tim looked up from his laptop and blinked at the sight in front of him. Bruce was standing in front of him in the breakfast nook, dressed in the Batsuit, minus the cowl. In the soft kitchen lights, Bruce looked anything but frightening.

“Yeah?”

“Nightwing was called to Blüdhaven. We could use the extra man power tonight...” Tim felt the color drain from his face, knowing what Bruce was asking of him. 

“I'm not ready...” 

“Tim, you will never be ready if you refuse to try.” 

“I've been tryin-....” Bruce gave Tim a look and Tim sighed. “Where do you need me?” 

~*~

Red Robin hadn't realized how much he had missed being out until he was soaring through Gotham. Flying had always been his favorite part of the job. Taking down the bad guys, bringing Justice to Gotham, all of that was good and Red Robin was proud to be a part of that, but he would not have been so willing to go out night after night if he could not fly while doing it. 

All the members of the Family had different flying styles. Batman was silent, dark, and smooth, like a shadow. He didn't fly so much as glide through the air. It was a means to get to different locations, not something to be savored.

Nightwing was an acrobat, through and through. He flipped, jumped, and was always moving one way or another as he flew. If Batman was a shadow, Nightwing was a sunbeam. He brought life into every movement he made, either with laughs or not-so-funny puns. 

Red Hood was a tornado. He landed hard and could destroy everything in his path. He didn't have the grace Nightwing had, but he made up for it in power. 

When it came to flying, Robin was a mini-Batman. All silent and dark, but instead of a shadow, Robin was a nightmare. There was a promise of danger and pain when Robin flew. 

Red Robin took elements from each style of flying and made it his own. He was silent, but there was an elegance to the way he moved through the air. Red Robin had power and danger in his wings, but the tact to not install fear in those who he protected. 

Red Robin knew flying was an art form and he was putting on a grand show for his return to the skies. He had flown all over the city, alternating between his hooks, leaps, and using his cape to glide. No twirl or flip was unnecessary, but he made sure to execute them in beauty. He didn't realize how long and far he had flown until there were not any more buildings in front of him to fly to. 

Red Robin landed on the gravel of a rooftop without so much as a 'crunch'. 

“You're showing off.” Red Robin looked over his shoulder, not surprised to see Nightwing there. Bruce had lied to him...he almost had expected it. 

“Why shouldn't I? Batman always points out how important a performance is.” Nightwing grinned and he grinned back. 

“You looked good.” 

“Damn right, I did.” Nightwing barked a laugh, then took the few steps forward to stand next to his brother in arms, and brother in life. The pair stared out at Gotham in silence for a minute.

“I heard the Penguin is having an after hours party at the Iceberg Lounge.” 

“And he didn't invite us? How rude.” Red Robin said in a mockingly hurt voice.

“Let's go crash it.” 

The former Robins took off towards the ledge of the roof and dove off in unison, prepared to show Gotham their talons.

~*~

Tim didn't even know how he had wound up standing on the rooftops of the dock. He had just wanted to fly more before returning to the Manor, and going back to his other life. Without thinking, his body had lead him here. 

He debated going down into the loft, but his heart won over his head, and Tim carefully made his way inside. He was very aware that one wrong move could set the whole building a blaze. 

Tim wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but what he had found had been disappointing. The loft was almost exactly as he had left it. His mug was even still on the coffee table, now moldy, from when he had rushed out to get to Jason. There were only two differences in the loft; Jason's laptop and desktop computers were missing. 

Tim pushed a hand through his hair. What had he wanted? Jason to be sitting there, waiting for him, with a sarcastic comment and open arms? That wasn't Jason. 

Tim looked around the apartment. He knew there had to be cameras somewhere. Safe house or not, Jason was paranoid...and it explained how Jason had known Tim hadn't eaten when Tim had his mental breakdown. It took an hour to find the camera, carefully hidden among objects on the bookshelf. It was still live. Tim followed it's trajectory and stood back, so it could see him fully. Tim had already removed his cowl, but now he removed his domino, and began talking to the camera. 

“The hardware has a mic in it, so I assume you can hear me....if not...you can read lips. I know you will be watching this. The cameras probably set off all kind of silent alarms for you, that someone was here. “ Tim sighed. “Jason...come home. We need to talk. You're an asshole, and I should hate you, but I don't. So just...come home.” Tim stood, pleading silently with the camera for about ten minutes, before sun light began to shine through the window. Tim replaced his domino and cowl, and left.

He needed to get back to the Manor before the normal people of Gotham woke up, and shed his wings. 

~*~

Tim developed a pattern in his days. He would wake up, do some training, go to classes, come home, completely any assignments that had been assigned, go on patrol, go to the loft, then come back home again, treat any wounds, then sleep. He lost count of how many times he repeated the cycle.

Tim never stayed in the loft for very long. Sometimes he would ramble on about what had happened on patrol, or how school was going, but most of the time, just stood, staring at the camera until the sun peeked in through the curtains. He never vocally pleaded for Jason to return after the first night. 

Tonight was different, though. Tonight, Tim sat on the floor, his knees tucked up to his chest and his ankles crossed. He had shed what had remained of his cowl and domino mask. Blood was pooling around his foot from an untreated wound and his body ached with each breath. He had been sitting there for almost an hour and the morning light had already begun to soak the room.

“Why does this always happen to me?” Tim finally lifted his head from his knees and looked to the camera. It's little light blinked at him, urging him to continue. “You and Dick never got captured as much as I do, and I'm not even Robin anymore....and Damian is more than capable of getting himself out of trouble.” Tim started to pull off his gloves and unlatch his suit. “But I always need to be saved.” He winced as he pulled his top off. He had more than likely broken a rib or three. “I've accepted I'm not perfect, that I'll need help, but God, can I go six months without being strung up from chains?” 

Tim was down to his briefs. He curled back up on himself, hugging his knees to him. Tim lost himself in his thoughts and did not speak until he was bathed in warm light. “He looked so disappointed in me. I actually got a lecture about needing to always pay attention out in the field. Do you know what I got distracted by?” Tim looked up to the camera, smiling absently. “It was you. Not really...but it was you. I was kicking the shit out of some guy, and not holding back. I thought how it was more like you than Batman. I had to stop to collect myself, and they took advantage of that” Tim sighed. “No wonder you are keeping away. I really am pathetic, aren't I?” Tim pulled himself up into standing and stretched. His body protested the movement and Tim winced. He needed a shower before going to sleep. Today, he would sleep here, then he would fall back into his cycle.

~*~

It was a rare sight to have members of the Wayne family in one room and not have bickering erupt eventually. 

Tim had been the first one in the library. He had to read something for class, and his laptop caused too much temptation. 

Damian was the second to arrive. He scowled at Tim as he plopped onto a high back chair. Tim glanced over, from where he was sprawled out on a couch, and gave a raised brow. Damian raised his book to block his face and Tim went back to his reading. 

Dick appeared seemingly out of no where. One minute Tim was reading, then he flipped the page, and Dick was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch Tim was lying on, with a tablet in hand. If Damian had noticed the new addition to the room, he didn't let it show. 

Alfred was the first to talk when he joined. “Master Richard, please get your feet off the tea table. You were raised in the circus, not a barn.” There was a shuffle as Dick moved, and a creak as Alfred took a seat somewhere. 

Bruce was walking by the library, not intending to go in, when he came across the scene. The library was large, and there were more than plenty of places to sit, but everyone had gathered into a close knit circle. It brought a smile to Bruce's face and he couldn't help but join, glad he already had a newspaper in hand. 

Over an hour passed, with everyone reading their different material, before Dick let out a loud gasp. He jumped up and shoved his tablet into Tim's face. “Tim!” 

“What's wrong?”

“Grayson, what the hell?” 

Tim sat up and grinned ear to ear, ignoring the others. Dick's tablet showed a flier for a concert, in Gotham, for tonight, for one of Dick and Tim's favorite bands. They had been planning on going, but had never gotten around to buying tickets. “Do you think there are still tickets available?” 

“Tickets to what?”

“Seriously, what the hell is going on?” 

“Master Damian, language!”

Dick's shoulders slumped and he dramatically crumbled back to the floor. “Oh my god, we forgot to buy ours, didn't we?” Tim nodded. “They are probably sold out by now...” Tim nodded again, feeling dejected. He had never really been to a concert...at least one that wasn't classical music. He'd sometimes passed them when on patrol and would stop to listen to a song before going back to work. 

Something clicked in Dick's mind and his upset was suddenly gone. He turned to look at Bruce, gaining a sly look. Bruce looked worried. “Bruce could get us in.” Tim caught on instantly and crawled to the end of the couch to get a better vantage point.

“A billionaire playboy taking his adopted sons for a night out. The press couldn't resist it. They'd have to let us in.” 

“What do you two want?” Bruce knew better than try to deny them. When Dick and Tim worked together to achieve something, it would get done, one way or another. Dick showed Bruce his tablet. “A concert? That is what all of this is about? Absolutely not, we have much better things to do with our night.” 

“But, Bruuuuuccceeee.” Tim wondered how Bruce had ever raised a teenaged Dick. 

“Sir, you have not made an appearance at a public function in quite some time.”

“See! Alfred thinks we should go!”

“I would like to know what sort of event has Drake and Grayson acting like school girls.” 

“Brothers stick together! Please, Bruce!” 

Bruce sighed. “Fine.” Dick cheered and Tim tossed his book aside to go get changed. 

~*~

The venue was packed, but four tickets magically appeared when Bruce Wayne requested them. Alfred had opted not to go. Pop rock was not really his scene. 

Tim and Dick were excited, bumping into each other as they walked to their seats and talking loudly about what they hoped the set list would be. Bruce followed behind, trying to not look so annoyed that he was here instead of on patrol, but he couldn't help but smile when he saw how happy Tim and Dick were. They deserved some happiness in their lives. Damian was taking in the sights and forcing them to stop at every vendor so he could try the different snacks. It was part of the experience, he claimed. He could not accurately determine the value of this venture out if he didn't get the full experience. Tim thought it was a clever way of saying the ten year wanted to try all the food he had never seen before. 

For literal last minute seats, Tim was surprised at how good they were. They weren't front row, but they were pretty close. Tim wasn't completely sure of concert etiquette, so he followed Dick's lead, and stayed standing when Bruce and Damian took their seats. Tim was glad he did. When the music started, the crowd roared and Tim was surprised to find himself cheering along with them. He caught Dick grinning at him and returned it. A girl a little younger than him was on one side of Tim, with Dick on the other, and both threw themselves fully into the music, waving their arms in the air and singing along with the band. Tim bobbed along with the music, enjoying the thrumming of the bass in his chest, until a song he particularly loved started playing. Tim understood, then, the need to dance and scream the lyrics. At some point, Dick grabbed his hand, yanked Tim into a hug, and used his phone to take a picture of them together. Tim laughed and stuck his tongue out for the next picture, before pulling away to go back to dancing. 

For the first time in months, Tim did not think of Jason. 

~*~

Midterms came along and Tim got swamped with projects, papers, and studying. The stress of school and patrolling started to get to Tim; he became fidgety and had trouble sleeping. Sleeping could be better spent studying or writing. Sleep was a waste of time. 

Tim had been up for three days straight. Two nights in a row he had waited until midnight to start patrol and as soon as he returned back to the Manor, he dove into school work until he actually had to leave to go to his classes. 

Tim had spent most of his patrol mentally reviewing terms for his upcoming chemistry exam and was anxious to get back to his room to make sure he got the definitions correct. He didn't even realize he had not gone to the loft until he pulled into the Batcave. He felt guilty for a half a moment, before rushing up to his room to make sure his memory was accurate. 

Tim didn't go back to the loft until after midterms were over. He apologized to the camera, but kept his gaze off to the side. Not coming every night had made him think. Jason clearly wasn't responding to these messages, so why was Tim putting so much effort into them? 

After that night, Tim turned his nightly visits to the loft into a once a week occurrence. 

~*~

Tim was angry. Tim was angry and wanted to scream and shout and punch something. The sun was still high in the sky, so donning his uniform and taking his anger out on criminals was out of the question. 

Tim had hated his ethics class before, but now he loathed it. His professor lived on a moral high horse and absolutely despised Batman, taking every opportunity he could to make a snide remark about the Dark Knight. The topic of the day in the class discussion had been 'who does society consider a hero and why' and of course the topic of Batman came up. Tim had listened to forty-five minutes of his professor and peers accusing Batman of ruining the city and bringing out 'the masked freaks', as they had been called. Before Batman showed up, they claimed, people like the Joker or Mr. Freeze hadn't existed. Batman had escalated 'normal' criminals into super villains with his theatrics. 

Tim had wanted to shout that Batman was saving Gotham, that the Joker would have shown up whether or not Batman existed. That people like Ra's al Ghul were around long before Batman appeared in Gotham. Batman just showed the public what was really in the shadows. 

But Tim had stayed quiet. He contained his anger by squeezing his hands so tightly under his desk he almost broke his fingers. 

Tim stormed out of class as they were dismissed and made his way to his bike. He had another class, but he was far too angry to want to go to it. 

How dare those pretentious assholes talk about Bruce like that. How dare they dismiss and mock him, knowing that they would not deny his help should they need it? They accused him of being a horrible person for putting the young people that had been Robin and Batgirl into such dangerous situations, like he had forced them into the costumes.

No, Bruce had saved all of his adopted children's lives in one way or another. Dick had been shown that life could continue after the death of his parents, while Jason, Tim, and Casandra had been shown what it was like to have a real family. 

Tim felt a pang of guilty at that thought. His parents had meant well...they had just never been there. Even when Bruce was disappointed in Tim, he felt unconditionally loved. Bruce was his father.

Tim revved his engine as he made a sharp turn. As he raced down the empty street, Tim realized where he had taken himself. He was at the loft. 

Tim's anger flared again and he screeched to a stop. His rage at his class redirected itself to Jason. 

Why had Jason left him? Why hadn't Jason made any sort of contact since? Tim knew he was alive and well. He had overheard Green Arrow mention Red Hood being in Star City to Batman. So why had Jason been ignoring Tim's attempts at contact? Why wasn't Tim good enough for Jason? 

Tim parked his bike and scaled the wall of the building the loft was in, making sure to stay hidden from any prying eyes. He dropped into the loft from the hidden entrance and stormed into the main area as soon as his feet hit the floor, going to stand where he knew the camera could see him. 

“I am done with this game, Jason!” Tim squeezed his hands into fists, feeling his nails cut into the grooves he had made earlier. “I am done! I am done waiting for you! I know you've been watching these, you know how many times I have come here! All you had to do was make contact once, just once, to let me know you're out there! To let me know that, maybe, just maybe, that all of that meant anything to you, but all you have done is left me in the dark! You walked out! Not me! So why have I been the one trying to figure out what I did so wrong?!” His voice was getting higher and higher, and now it was starting to crack. “What did I do to deserve to feel like I'm missing a part of myself? Why am I even asking?” Tim let out a bitter laugh. “You won't ever tell me. You're just going to sit there, behind your lens, like you have been for months! But I am done! I am done waiting for you, Jason!” Tim closed his eyes tightly, fighting back the tears, and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I can't wait for you anymore.”

~*~

Tim marveled at the way Dick managed to eat while hanging upside down. He would have thrown up if he tried to do it. But Dick had always been ten kinds of special. 

“Please tell me you are doing that so you won't get crumbs on your suit.” Dick scoffed.

“It tastes better this way.” 

“That is scientifically impossible.” 

“You're scientifically impossible.” Tim snorted at the lame comeback as he secured the fasteners on his boots.

“And to think, you're supposed to be the more mature one.”

“Tim, no one has ever accused me of being mature in my life.” Tim laughed. Dick finished eating his sandwich and dropped to the floor, doing a flip midair so he would land on his feet. “So, how do you want to split this up? North south, or east west?” 

Bruce and Damian were out of town on another case, so it was left to Dick and Tim to take care of the patrols. Tim wondered if Dick would ever get to go back to Blüdhaven. 

“How about one of us takes his normal route and the other covers the rest?” Dick hummed at the thought, then nodded in agreement. “I'll do the covering.” Dick nodded again, then they put the rest of their suits on in silence. 

“Hey, Tim.” 

“Hm?” 

“I'm proud of you.” Tim jerked his head up and stared at Dick.

“For what...?” 

“For moving on.” Tim blinked in confusion at Dick, not realizing the act would be lost behind his domino.

“What? Moving on from what? What are you talking about?”

“You haven't been back to Jason's building in almost a month. I'm proud of you for finally moving on.” Tim felt his cheeks get hot and pulled up his cowl to hide it. 

“You knew?” Dick shrugged and smiled a little.

“My little brother's heart was broken and I had to keep an eye out to make sure he didn't do anything too stupid. Alfred mentioned you were coming home after sun up to me instead of Bruce, so I needed to figure out why. I didn't say anything because well...it was between you and Jason. But...you've been happier these past few weeks and that correlated with you not going back.” Dick canted his head. “So I guessed you had moved on. Was I wrong?” 

Tim lowered his head. Had he really been happier? He hadn't noticed. He had still felt the ache in his chest whenever he thought about Jason, but, to be honest, he had thought about him less and less since he had stopped going to the loft. “I'm not sure I can ever really move on, but...yeah...I think I did.” 

Dick's shadow got closer and Dick gave Tim's shoulder a squeeze. “You can never really ever move on from the people you loved. They'll always be in your heart. But there's no shame in letting them go when you need to.” 

After the moment passed, Tim rolled his shoulder and Dick let go. “Enough brotherly-bonding. Let's go kick some bad-guy butt.” 

“There is never enough brotherly-bonding, but agreed.” 

~*~

Red Robin didn't know there was a gun in the fight until it went off. He spun, bo staff raised, and smacked the gun out of the gang member's hand, then delivered a few quick, well placed blows to knock the man out. 

Red Robin was greatly outnumbered, but it was a factor he was familiar with. The fight was over within a minute and Red Robin was kneeling and zip tying hands behind backs. “Tell who ever you work for, if you can make bail, that running guns through Gotham is not something the city takes kindly to.” He gave an extra kick to the one man who was still awake. 

Sirens could be heard in the distance and that was his cue to go. Red Robin aimed his grappling hook up through the broken skylight he had come in through and fired. He stumbled in his landing and blinked in surprise as the world spun. 

“What the hell...?” He looked down and saw his left side was covered in blood. He gently touched it, then raised his gloved hand to look at it. The blood was sticky, and still fresh? He glanced back to the skylight. He hadn't made any of them bleed too badly. Where had all the blood come from? 

Red Robin took a few more steps and his legs began to shake. He put his hand on his side that was soaked in blood and felt around. There was a small hole in his uniform and in his stomach. 

But...the only gun had been behind him when it went off? 

Red Robin slowly moved his hand around his side to his back and let out a small 'oh' at what he felt. The hole in his stomach was an exit wound. 

He slowly brought his hand back around him and traced his fingers along harness, leaving blood smears as he did. He found his emergency beacon and activated it. Hopefully Nightwing wasn't too far away or too busy. 

The sirens were getting closer and Red Robin knew he couldn't stay on the roof. He had to get at least a few blocks away. He stumbled towards the ledge and fired his grappling hook. He didn't know how much blood he had lost, but it was hard to keep his grip while he flew. He wasn't able to stick his landing and he tumbled onto the ground, groaning as pain finally made itself known. 

His entire side was screaming at him now and it made him want to vomit. Red Robin tried to push himself back up, but his vision blurred and he almost did vomit. He laid back down on his right side. 

If he couldn't get away, he'd just have to lay and wait for Nightwing. And try to stay awake. That was the important part. Stay awake. 

As soon as he had that thought, his eye lids became impossibly heavy. He fought to keep them open, but he was losing the battle quickly. 

“Come on, Dick...where are you...” 

It felt like hours. Red Robin's eyes were barely open when a shadow appeared over him. Gentle arms lifted him up and he curled into the warmth they gave. His head found something soft to lean against. Red Robin took a deep breath, relieved he wasn't going to bleed to death on some rooftop. 

The smell of smoke, leather, and gun powder filled his nose.

“J...Jason?”

Before he could get any confirmation, nothingness took over. 

~*~

Tim didn't know where he was when he opened his eyes. There was just a white ceiling above him. He felt safe, and that was the important thing. He closed his eyes again and let his head slowly lull to one side. After an age and a half, he slowly opened his eyes again.

He was in the loft. 

Everything came back to him; the gun runners, being shot, sending a distress signal out, then....Jason. 

Tim placed his hand on his stomach and felt around. He could feel neat, even stitches under gauze where there used to be a hole. He assumed he had matching ones on his back. 

“Jason..?” Tim's voice sounded wretched, even to his own ears. He needed something to drink. He pushed himself into sitting and was surprised to find a bottle of ibuprofen and water on the bedside table. “Jason?” 

But there were no footsteps, no movement in the loft. 

Tim took a handful of pills and drank half the bottle of water as a chaser. Pushing back the blankets, he was surprised to see he had been stripped down to his briefs, and was clean of any grime, sweat, and blood. 

It took two tries for Tim to be able to stand up. He moved slowly as he made his way around the loft. He hadn't been able to feel the pain of being shot through his adrenaline, but he sure as hell felt it now. Jason was no where in the loft, and Tim's heart sank when he saw that the camera he had spent weeks talking to was now gone as well. 

Tim made it back to the bed and sat down. Why had Jason come back? Why had he saved Tim, yet again? Tim knew Dick would have gotten to him in time...

What was Jason's game? Tim had finally started to get over him, and now he was back, and Tim wanted nothing more than to see him. To punch him in his stupid smug face, then kiss him. How could he crumble so easily back into this love? It was so hard for Tim to understand. Jason had crushed Tim by leaving, and didn't deserve for Tim to feel this happy about him being back in Gotham. 

Tim decided to sit and wait, in case Jason had just stepped out. That is what his heart tried to convince his mind of. That Jason had just stepped out, and he would be back soon. Then they could talk. 

But Jason didn't come back.

Tim waited until the sun set again before realizing he should probably get back to the Manor. He found his suit, got dressed, and then waited five more minutes, just in case. When the five minutes passed, Tim gave a defeated sigh, and left.

~*~

“TIM!”

Tim had barely gotten off his bike when Dick rushed him and wrapped him up in a way too tight hug. His side flared up in even more pain.

“Ow! Dick! Let go! I'm fine!” 

Dick only let go enough to hold Tim out at arm's length. “You're covered in blood and you've been missing for almost twelve hours! What the hell happened to you?! You're beacon went off and by the time I got there, you were gone! Your beacon was just sitting alone in a pool of blood! I thought.. I thought you were gone.” 

Tim paled as he realized what must have gone through Dick's mind; that Tim had been kidnapped, again, or worse. 

“I'm sorry, Dick. Jason got to me before you did...” 

“Jason's back?” Dick almost sounded angry. Tim gave a small nod. 

“He didn't stick around, as far as I can tell...he just patched me up and left.” 

“Are you sure it was Jason?” Tim sighed and nodded again.

“He took me to where we had been staying, before.” Dick was hugging Tim again and Tim leaned into it this time. 

“I'm sorry, Tim....”

“Me too....” 

“Let's get Alfred to look you over.” Tim nodded. Dick took a minute to let Tim go, and when he did, he ruffled Tim's hair. Tim gave a half hearted smile to his brother and followed him up to the Manor, and no doubt to a lecture from Alfred. 

~*~

Tim leaned back in the computer chair as he stared up at the monitors in the Batcave. He was stuck on tech support for the night, giving Alfred a more than well deserved night off. Batman and Robin were still out of town, so all he had to monitor was Nightwing. 

“Are you ever going back to Blüdhaven?” Tim asked, voicing the question that he had thought of the night before.

“I hope so. I have left over Chinese food in my fridge I want.” Tim gagged.

“That stuff is probably bad by now.” 

“I can dream.” They lapsed back into silence as Nightwing moved around the city and Tim kept an ear open for anything of interest on the scanners. 

Nightwing's breathing patterns change and Tim sat up, interested. Nightwing was chasing someone, but hadn't communicated to Tim yet who it was. There was a 'thud!' as contact was made with someone, then scuffling. 

“What the fuck, Dick?!” 

Tim's heart began to race when Jason's voice rang in his ear and a lump formed in his throat.

“What the hell are you doing in Gotham, Jason?” Dick's voice was laced with venom, making Tim's eyes go wide. He had only heard Dick use that voice a few times, and never towards a member of the family. 

“I kind of live here?” 

“That is not what I meant, Jason. Why did you come back?” Tim heard the 'shlink' of Nightwing taking out his escrima sticks and Tim's heart was going so fast. He didn't want them to fight. 

“Like I said, I live here. What's got your spandex in a knot?” 

“You need to stay away from Tim.” Oh god, this was about him? That made things so much worse. The relationships between Jason and the rest of the family could be rocky, at best, and Tim didn't want to be the cause of making it worse. 

“This conversation seems familiar, but in reverse. Are you going to tell me you'll unleash hell if I don't?” Tim blushed brightly, glad no one was around to see it. He had forgotten Jason had said that.

“Yes. I will. I'll unleash hell onto you if you hurt him again, Jason, I swear it. He doesn't need you anymore.” Tim could hear the electricity from the escrima sticks cackling and it made his heart pang. He knew Dick was trying to protect him, but he didn't want it like this. If Jason didn't want him, Tim wanted it to be because Jason chose it. Not because Dick beat him away. 

“Are you sure? Because by my calculations, this is the second time you've left him alone to die.” 

“I was on my way!” 

“Like Batman was on his way in Ethiopia?!” 

The thuds and grunts now meant that things had escalated to being physical. Tim couldn't convince himself to turn on the camera and see things through Nightwing's eyes. Tim shut his own tightly and brought his legs up into the chair, so he could hug them, ignoring the pain it brought to his side. He wanted to yank the ear piece off his head, but he needed to hear that the pair didn't manage to kill each other. 

The seconds seemed in crawl by and every blow had Tim shaking and getting closer and closer to sobbing. He wanted to yell at them both, to stop this. He wasn't a prize to be fought over, or won. He didn't need protecting. But he couldn't find his voice. 

Tim heard footsteps in the cave and had no idea how he was going to explain to Alfred what was happening. The footsteps ended beside him and were replaced by the sounds of typing.

“Nightwing, return to the Cave. Now.” Tim's head jerked up. He had been expecting to hear Alfred's voice, not Bruce's. Bruce looked absolutely furious and Tim tried to shrink himself into a small enough ball that maybe Bruce wouldn't notice him. However, Bruce's eyes flickered to Tim, making him wince. The angry eyes softened, but maybe it was just the light. Bruce turned his attention back to the monitors. “I said now, Nightwing!” 

“Oh, is Daddy calling you back home now, Dickie?” Jason was panting and wheezing. Tim wanted to go to him and check all the wounds, to make sure nothing was too serious.

“Go to hell, Jason!” 

“Been there, done that, not too keen on going again.” 

Dick growled, but Bruce yelled again. “Nightwing!” Nightwing's breathing changed again, and Tim knew he was heading back. 

Bruce reached down and gently tugged the headset off of Tim's ear. “Explain.”

~*~

Tensions ran high between Bruce and Dick the next day, and Tim could hear the various shouting from his room. He hadn't come out of it yet. He didn't know how to face Dick after what had happened. 

Tim knew nothing set Dick off like someone hurting his family, he just couldn't believe it had been directed towards someone Dick thought of as family. 

Had Jason really hurt Tim that much? 

Tim stared at his mass of pillows as he thought of the last few months of his life. He had been tortured and psychologically damaged, but Jason had rescued him and had tried his best to help Tim. There had been rough patches, but Jason truly had helped Tim. He had been lost in a fog and Jason had guided him out, bringing him to every step Tim needed to get to. Jason had sacrificed a lot for Tim; his patrols, control of his enterprises, encounters with the family, which Tim knew Jason did not like. But Jason had done all of it and more. For Tim. 

Alfred had helped Tim realize that, during their sessions. Tim had already known why he had clung to Jason so hard. Jason had been his hero when he was younger, even when Tim had taken over the role of Robin. He had always looked up to Jason. Then Jason had been the one to drag him out of his hell. Even after everything Jason had done to him before Tim had been tortured, Tim still kind of admired him.

The weird admiration had turned into a weird friendship, which had bloomed into....affection. Touches. Kisses. Love? 

Jason had never hinted at that, save for the gentle touches at night. Tim had thought, maybe he had imagined what those touches had said.

But then the breakout happened, and Tim got hurt, again. 

Tim could still remember those days. It had been worse than a fog. He had been trapped inside his own mind, unable to let anyone know he was still there. Half the time he hadn't even been aware he was trapped. Maybe, if he had fought harder against his mind, against his body, he could have shown Jason he wasn't lost? Maybe Jason wouldn't have left.

But Jason did leave, and Tim still didn't know why. 

Damian had realized Tim was still there and had helped him find himself, but it had been different than it was with Jason. There was no gentleness, or hushed whispers in the middle of the night. 

Then, the roller coaster of emotions; emptiness, depression, determination and hope, glimpses of happiness, then anger, followed by content. After weeks and weeks, Tim had finally accepted he needed to move on from Jason, only to have Jason fall back into his life.

And now he was lost again. He didn't know whether to be angry at Jason or not, because he was so happy Jason was back, if he was honest with himself, but he didn't want to forgive him for leaving in the first place. Tim was not prepared to get back on the Jason-ride without being sure everything was not in his head. Jason had shattered all the trust that he had built by leaving and Tim was no longer sure what Jason even felt about him. If he felt anything at all.

There was a knock at his door and Tim groaned. He didn't want to talk to anyone, but he couldn't help but say, “Come in.” 

Alfred came in with a tray of tea and cookies. He sat them on Tim's bed side table and took a seat at the end of Tim's bed. 

“I could hear your brooding from in the kitchen and thought you might be in need of advice before you turn yourself prematurely grey.” 

Tim took the mug from the tray and shrugged to Alfred. “You can try.”

“In matters of the heart, do not let Master Bruce, or Richard, or even Jason try to tell you what to do. I'm sure you know this, Master Timothy, but you are no one's pawn to use and direct. You alone get to decide what you need. No one else.” 

Tim stared at Alfred from behind his mug. He wondered how the butler knew exactly what to say at exactly at the right moment. Perhaps he was actually a psychic? 

“Thank you, Alfred.”

~*~

Tim wasn't quite sure how to get in touch with Jason. He figured getting himself into a situation where he could die to draw Jason out would not work very well, so he opted to sitting on the rooftop of the loft, his legs hanging off the edge. 

Jason didn't show up until almost dawn.

“You realize Dick is going to unleash all his hell onto me now, right?” 

Tim looked over one shoulder and forced himself not to smile. Jason was standing there, in his uniform, sans helmet, which was under his arm. He had even taken off his domino. The sight made Tim's heart swell and he had to remind himself why he was here.

“If does, I'll release mine on him, and mine's a lot scarier.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah. I have video.” Tim pushed himself into standing and turned to face Jason. Jason reached out to touch Tim's face, but Tim stepped away from it. “Don't. I'm not here for that. I'm here to talk.” 

“Tim, I'm sor-” 

“No. I'm not here for that either.” Tim held up his hand, silently telling Jason to shut up. “I don't need apologizes and I don't need explanations. We are way past that point.” Jason set down his helmet and motioned for Tim to continue talking. “You left. You left and it ruined me.” 

“I'm sor- okay. Okay. Saying nothing.” Tim glared at Jason until Jason closed his mouth.

“But I climbed out of that pit. I waited for you as I fixed myself.” Tim was hoping this didn't sound too rehearsed, because he had rehearsed it so much in his head. “But you didn't come. You didn't even let me know you were alive. I waited until I figured out if I kept doing it, I'd drag myself back down again. I took a step forward, and every time I came here, it was two steps back.”

“So why are you here now?” 

Tim looked at Jason like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Because I love you, you idiot.” Jason's eyes went wide and his slowly began to grin. “But I can't be with you.” The grin dropped and the wide-eyed expression turned to anger.

“What? Why the hell would you tell me that then drop that bombshell!?” Jason was getting angry but Tim kept his cool for now.

“Because I need you to know and to understand. Jason,” Tim started to plead, hoping the man in front of him wouldn't turn away and leave, like he looked like he was about to do. “Please, I need you to understand. All of this has been pretty messed up from the start. Our relationship before you found me in that warehouse was you beating the shit out of me. Then only after a few weeks we're cuddling on your couch?” 

“You needed that!” It was Tim's turn to start yelling.

“Yeah, I know I did! I know how much I needed you, okay? Do you not think I know how much I needed you, Jason?! That's the fucked up part about all of this! I've always needed you! Even before you knew who I was, I needed you! It wasn't just Batman who was my hero! It was you, too! Then everything happened, all of it, you coming back, you kicking my ass in the Tower, the warehouse, all of it happened! You threatening Dick, you taking me to the Manor, you pining me to the bed! It all happened, and then you left! You left and I thought I was better, but I still need you!” 

“Then what is the problem!?” 

“It can't just be me needing you, Jason! I can't give you everything and get nothing in return! I waited! And waited! And you had plenty of opportunities to show yourself, but you wait until I'm dying! You can't just show up to act like the hero!” Jason growled and waved his arms in the air, making angry motions. 

“I was waiting for you to move on!”

“What!? What the hell does that mean, Jason!?” 

“I hurt you, Tim! You left the loft to get to me! You ended up like that because of me!” 

“I ended up like that because I wasn't going to leave you to die!” They had slowly gotten closer to each other, until Tim was in Jason's face as they screamed at each other. No one was around but the other to hear their voices become more and more hurt. 

“I couldn't let you end up hurt again because of me! So I left! Maybe it wasn't the best decision I've ever made, but it was the right one at the time! And I am NOT going to apologize for it! You needed me to leave so you could get better! You needed to get over me so I couldn't hurt you again!”

Tim shoved Jason in the chest. “You don't get to make those decisions for me, Jason!”

“Someone had to, because you weren't around to do it!” 

They stopped yelling, and stood glaring at each other, panting in anger. It would be so easy for Tim to just lean up and kiss Jason, but he refused to do it. 

“What do you want of me, Babybird?” Jason sounded so tired, so drained. His shouting had died down to barely a whisper. Tim looked up into Jason's eyes for the first time since they started screaming at each other and let his shoulders slump. 

“I don't know...I need you...but..” Jason gave a weak smile.

“I can't have you.” Tim shook his head, and in a moment of weakness, leaned against Jason. Jason wrapped his arms around Tim's shoulders and held him close. Tim pressed his face into Jason's neck while Jason rested his head on Tim's. “We're kind of fucked, aren't we?” 

“Mhmm....” 

They stayed embraced as the sun came up. Tim turned his head so he could watch the sunrise over the harbor. He had dreamed about moments like this with Jason, but never anything like this. It was all so wrong, and so right, and Tim didn't know what to do. It was so easy to be with Jason, but if they continued on like they had, Tim knew it would all end in flames. 

“Babybird.” Tim looked up to Jason and canted his head to show he was listening. Jason leaned down and pressed their foreheads together. “I'll be the one to wait now, okay? I'll wait for you until you're ready, until we aren't so fucked up. I'm not going to not save you if you get your ass into trouble...and if I have to leave Gotham, I'll try to make sure to send you a text. I'll try to not be the one who hurts you. I'll wait. How does that sound?”

Tim hummed, then turned to rest his head back on Jason's shoulder. The sun was finally over the horizon. 

“That sounds okay to me, Jason.”


	5. The Epilogue

Hood could feel the back of his helmet start crack as he was repeatedly slammed into a brick wall by what looked to be like a giant mutated gorilla-lizard hybrid. The thing hadn't stopped to introduce itself before rampaging around Gotham and officially pissing off Jason by destroying one of his favorite food carts. The monster's skin was thick enough that Hood's bullets were not doing any damage and blades did not even stand a chance. If he wasn't worried he'd lose his hand in the process, he would have stuck his gun in the thing's mouth and see if its palate was bulletproof, too. 

His helmet gave in and maybe it'd be worth the risk to lose his hand if it meant not having his skull bashed in. 

“Hey! Ugly!” 

Hood's lips quirked under his helmet. The gorilla-lizard roared and threw him head first into a wall. He stayed crumbled on the ground and watched as Red Robin danced around the creature, smacking it with his bo staff. The object of Red Hood's desire figured out much quicker than he had that the beast seemed to have Kevlar for skin, and he changed to a different tactic. 

Red, as Hood liked to so affectionately call him, was too fast for the monster to grab onto, so when he allowed himself to get caught, Hood let out a strangled noise of panic. Red Robin didn't have the armor Hood had that would protect his skull from being smashed against a wall. The monster roared and Red actually stuck his fucking arm down its throat. He was insane. 

The gorilla-lizard was just as surprised by the action and Red Robin had enough time to yank his arm back before it had time to react. Red pulled his cape up, wrapping it around his head, and Hood was slightly confused by the motion.

When the monster's neck exploded, he understood. Red gave the thing a few kicks to make sure it was staying down, then came to check on Hood.

“'m not ugly.” Red laughed and it made all of the pain Hood was in go away. 

“No, you're not. You can even be attractive in the right light.” Red Robin helped Hood up and wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him. “Can you walk?”

Hood's world was turning upside down. “Only if you carry me...” He managed to mumble before everything went dark.

~*~

Jason didn't know what to expect when he woke up. He had not passed out after a fight in a long time. Not since a bomb went off a few feet in front of him almost a year ago. He looked around and smiled as he saw where he was. 

Jason had changed to a different safe house when he returned to Gotham. The loft held too many memories, too much emotion. 

“You're lucky you don't have a concussion. Drink this.” Tim, the stealthy bastard, appeared out of no where with a mug of steaming liquid and shoved it into Jason's face. 

“What is it?” 

“Do as I say.” Jason pushed himself up into sitting and took the mug.

“Yes, sir.” Tim rolled his eyes and sat on the end of the bed, facing towards the large window. He brought a knee up and rested his chin on it. Jason took a long sip of the hot tea as he watched Tim watching something outside. He was still small and buff as ever, but something had changed about him since the last time Jason had seen him shirtless. There was a confidence that hadn't been there before. It made Tim even more attractive. 

Jason set aside his mug and moved carefully to sit behind Tim. He knew Tim knew he was moving, but was still cautious as he wrapped his arms around Tim's middle and rested his chin on Tim's shoulder. These rare moments of touching were what he lived for. Sometimes Tim would shrug him off, and sometimes he would let Jason pretend everything was right in the world.

“S'okay?” Tim hummed in approval and Jason leaned more against Tim and looked out the window, trying to figure out what Tim was watching. It had started to snow. 

“Jason?” Jason brushed his lips against Tim's skin, silently asking him 'what?'. There was nothing sexual behind the move. “I think...I'm ready to try.” Jason could have sworn his heart stopped in his chest. 

“Yeah...?” 

“Yeah.” 

Jason kissed Tim's shoulder properly and gave him a squeeze around the middle. Everything would be okay now. His little bird was no longer broken. His little bird was really his now. 

Jason looked back out the window, searching through the snow to try and find what Tim was watching. He finally saw the little red and white blinking light across the harbor and smiled.

The snow wasn't so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that, folks, is all she wrote.

**Author's Note:**

> I have been unable to come up with a title for this piece, and started calling it the Untitled JayTim Project. That has now stuck with me and until I can come up with a title I equally love, will be the working title.


End file.
